Colin Sheridan: what sport media's jock culture shows us about society
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We love absolutes. They require little imagination or thought, only a map, but no compass. Andrew Tate says X. Russell Brand says Y. If you believe either one, the path to that belief is straight. Substitute in Conor McGregor. Or Joe Rogan. Or Pat McAfee. Or Joey Barton. Express no doubt. Make no Apologies. Plough on. Listen to the High Performance Podcast. Attend a Jordan Peterson lecture. Sell your Porsche. Dump your wife. Don't just ask Debbie from accounts out to dinner. Tell her. Insist on it. Assert yourself. She will be so impressed by your self-confidence - according to the Doctrine of the Dickhead - she’ll become putty in your hands.
The flip side to this doctrine is, apparently, wokeness. Weak lefties who pander to a lobby that cultivated cancel culture and weaponised it against all men, everywhere. A war on masculinity waged by an army of penis-apologists. Many women, and some failed men. There is no middle ground. You are either with us or against us.
It’s over 13 years since Richard Keyes and Andy Gray got sacked by Sky Sports after a series of off-air comments were made public. The first tranche caught Gray and Keys making sexist comments about assistant referee Sian Massey after a controversial but ultimately correct offside decision during Liverpool’s 3-0 demolition of Wolves in January 2011.
A day later, another recording emerged, this time Gray was heard discussing Massey’s looks with another colleague, Andy Burton.
Along came a third, posted to YouTube, which had Gray making inappropriate comments to colleague Charlotte Jackson.
A fourth and final clip emerged, this one capturing Keys using sexist language about a woman, this time in conversation with Jamie Redknapp, from a studio at a live game at Stamford Bridge. By Wednesday, both men were gone. The most powerful broadcasting duo in British football humbled by their own misogynistic hubris.
Sky - owned by the much reviled Rupert Murdoch - have never been much of a north star you’d choose to follow in terms of morality, but when it came to Keys and Gray, they acted decisively, setting a standard within broadcasting that went some way to changing the dynamic of the industry.
Which brings us to this past week, and two case studies in why - after seeming to make progress - we may actually be heading back towards the cave.
In the first instance, we have Kate Abdo, multilingual anchor of CBS’s Champions League coverage, asking the panel “Who here likes Brest?” ; Brest, of course being the Ligue 1 team down to play Barcelona last Wednesday night. It was a simple gag, adolescent and preplanned, safe - I’m guessing - because Abdo initiated it. The assembled analysts - Thierry Henry, Jamie Carragher, and Micah Richards - each then did their bit, like a bad Benny Hill sketch. “I like the shape of them,” said Carragher. “You don’t have to be big,” Henry told us, straight faced. “You can be small and compete.”
Richards coudn't speak. He was bent over in contrived convulsions of pubescent laughter. “Do you think Brest will get exposed tonight?” Abdo quizzed. At this point the off-air Loaded Magazine reading studio crew could be heard cackling aloud. By midnight the clip was viral, CBS’s coverage a panacea, apparently, to an overly stuffy mainstream media that would never tolerate such comedy gold. It was harmless in the moment, but also incredibly cringeworthy.
Case study number two involves Ian Wright, Gary Neville, Jill Scott, Paul Scholes and - sadly - Roy Keane on the Overlap, the ubiquitously popular podcast series. I’d venture the main driver for its popularity is it takes Roy Keane’s Sky Sports pundit personality, and lets him riff. As a devout disciple of Ireland's greatest ever footballer, I find his insights on football and rudimentary philosophy to be entertaining. His comic timing is disarming. The revelation of his softer side is a welcome distraction. Lately, however, his slide towards the tawdry has been a little hard to reconcile. The presence of Scott - England's second most capped footballer and usually the butt of Keane’s jokes - is, I guess, a qualifying criteria for their acceptability. She’s clearly in on it, so, in the parlance of the day, it’s all fair game, right?
Most of us reading these pages grew up in dressing rooms in rural GAA and soccer clubs. At 16, you togged out beside 36-year-old men. It was an odd, formative dynamic that went some way to developing your societal interactions with other men, especially. The Brest jokes would not be tolerated, not because of some woke preciousness, but because the joke is just really, really shit. Keanes weren’t much better, but are slightly more excusable for being impromptu. The reactions of the laughing sycophants in both cases is sadly indicative of the groupthink that still permeates male sports.
Those familiar with Barstool Sports will know what I mean. I'm not a sociologist, but after spending half my life in the military I'm fairly certain there is a direct line between jock culture and colonising soldiers ransacking colonised homes and dressing in the clothes of the women who’s houses they’ve just violently violated. Then they post about it. Not unlike many sports teams, there is entitlement and misogyny and much back slapping.
I know. Calm down. Connecting those dots seems like a stretch, but from small acorns, great oaks grow. It's been a decade since Gray and Keys got the sack for saying the quiet part out loud. The only difference between then and now is they thought nobody could hear them.
There is an element of Oppenheimer inventing the atomic bomb about Jim Gavintarget="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">'s new rules, which were emphatically passed at GAA congress last weekend. The motions in question sailed through with huge majorities, as delegates backed the wide-ranging changes proposed by Gavin's Football Review Committee on Saturday.
It will be viewed as a victory, not just for Gavin, but for President Jarlath Burns who promised reform, and has taken little time in delivering it. It’s a curious thing - gifting the loaded privilege of trying to save Gaelic Football to the manager whose Dublin team did much to change the way the game was played forever with their possession-based, basketball model of play.
It was a change - many would argue - that was not for the better. Understanding the horse has bolted now, and that Gavin was not on a solo-run but had able Generals around him to guide, advise and dissent if necessary, I have an image of Cillian Murphy in the Oppenheimer role etched in my mind, confronted with the mass devastation of his magnificent creation.
“I have become death, destroyer of worlds” said Enrico Fermi, one of Oppenhemier's capos, himself quoting hindu scripture to articulate the conflict that raged within him knowing the consequences of their collective genius. While I agree change was necessary, I know I am in the minority in believing the architect for that change may not have been the best one.
Gavin is - as proven by his remarkable record with Dublin - a history maker. His reputation and pedigree outside of Gaelic football is almost as impressive. My worry is - however unpopular it may seem - is that football will move ever closer to basketball with teams adapting defensive systems to the new rules in a manner the committee did not foresee. I hope I’m wrong, and, unlike Oppenheimer's baby, this creation is a force for good.
For golf fans, the most exciting thing to happen since Scottie Scheffler got arrested at the Masters has been Bryson DeChambeau making hole-in-one over his house after 16 days and 134 attempts. DeChambeau posted the challenge on his social media channels, beginning with one try on day one, two tries on day two, and so on.
What a journey pic.twitter.com/iEQhu1KdwH
— Bryson DeChambeau (@brysondech) November 27, 2024
It became a rather epic and engrossing journey for the millions watching, with many close calls, and amazingly, no broken windows. According to Golf Digest, the probability of a PGA Tour player making a hole-in-one on a 100-yard shot is about 1-in-500, meaning DeChambeau beat the odds considerably, achieving the feat on attempt number 134, his 14th of the day. Like him or not, that guy is definitely growing the game.
Snooker's popularity as a spectator sport is not what it was, but Ronnie O’Sullivans cameo on the mic at this week's UK championship should do much to pique interest. The Rocket was on hand to verbally navigate viewers through a sublime maximum 147 break from Zhang Anda during his match with Lei Peifan. It was a masterclass in potting, and in commentating. "He's probably the best positional player in the game for getting the right side of the ball. So for me, I'd be surprised if he doesn't make a 147 here," said O'Sullivan. Anda was on 92 at the time. Genius loves company.