Larry Ryan: Too early in the day for Arsenal to be on high alert

I told the U14 girls about it at training. Mainly as a funny story, ideally carrying a small reminder about staying tuned in rather than spend the whole session speculating about whose class they are going into.

Naturally, this backfired instantly. “You’re bringing us for dinner, great!” “Can we go to Milano’s?” “What about getting a crepe van to come instead?” “Yes, I love crepes.” “What’s a pickpocket?” “How can you be a professional when that’s a crime?”

All reasonable queries, indicating the point of Mikel’s big-brained operation wasn’t immediately obvious.

Nobody, thankfully, raised the question to which I’d have had no answer: Why would you want to live in a constant state of high alertness? It sounds very stressful.

Now, it’s very possible Arteta may have been targeting this sting at the one or two members of his squad not noted for their vigilance on the field.

This may have been his version of D’Unbelievables’ Crimebusters warning about leaving the side window of the house open: “Ye can’t be doing that, lads.”

Though if that’s the case, it didn’t quite register with repeat offenders Oleksandr Zinchenko or Thomas Partey, judging by the way their pockets were picked last weekend against Wolves. 

While William Saliba also left the passenger window wound down and his wallet on the front seat a couple of times.

I was at the Emirates last weekend. The place was buzzing with positivity.

Arsenal were good, mostly, far too good for Wolves, with Saka exceptional. Yet for a long stretch of the second half, with the game not yet won at 1-0, there was palpable anxiety around the place, spreading from the seats to the field. 

A whole stadium on high alert, regularly patting their inside pockets fearfully. And it just seemed much too early in the season to be living like that.

That, of course, is what Manchester City do to you. They raise the stakes from the opening gun, making you aware that any little slip could be fatal, so slim is the margin for error if you want to beat them to the title.

But still.

Last week, from a poll of 20 Examiner writers. 13 picked Arsenal as champions. I wonder if that will be forgotten, should City canter to another title. 

That is maybe Pep Guardiola’s greatest achievement, that he makes it all seem so predictable and frictionless and anxiety free. No doubt a few are already having second thoughts, having seen how inevitably City beat Chelsea.

It might just be the last piece in the impressive jigsaw Arteta has assembled, injecting a little bit of chill. Making matters just a bit less stressful, rather than constantly hyping up the intensity and emotion and passion.

Marti Perarnau’s new book, Pep Guardiola: The Evolution, the third of the series, suggests Pep himself has gradually discovered the value of dialing things down a notch.

“It might not seem that way but I’m much more patient now. The anxiety and anguish pre-match are hugely diminished. I’m much more optimistic, much easier on myself than I was. I take it all just like another piece of our lives — part of the process of being involved in sport.”

Pep suggests he has found tolerance and understanding. Possibly around the same time as Erling Haaland arrived to score unlimited numbers of goals, while playing in a different match to everybody else. What’s the need to sweat the small stuff?

But even before Pep found peace, throughout City’s dominance there has always been a sense they are not necessarily on highest alert this time of year. Pep insists he no longer micro-manages or even macro-manages the pre-season, but just constantly practices the fundamentals and the principles and “improves bits and pieces” gradually.

By the time the business end arrives, and maximum vigilance is required, City have generally found a groove they can click into, without too much stress.

The story from the book gaining most attention is Pep’s furious row with Raheem Sterling, over Sterling’s lack of efficiency in front of goal.

Pep’s coach Carles Planchart notably pinpoints a key change in City’s evolution. “We’ve let ourselves down in that crucial area at certain decisive moments. Haaland and Julian Alvarez bring specialisms that we didn’t have enough of.”

Yesterday, Mikel Arteta ‘opened the door to speculation’ by talking about his “really strong feelings” for Sterling from their time together at City. 

Arteta possibly only has really strong feelings about everything, but it still sounded very much like the kind of stuff you would say if he had no intention of signing Sterling. Because more inefficiency in front of goal might be the last thing Arsenal need in the search for chill.

This is the specialism they still don’t have enough of. Wolves last weekend would have been a 90-minute party had they buried first-half chances.

Kai Havertz in many ways is the anti-Haaland, a guy who takes an active and decisive part in the match everybody else is playing and considers goalscoring, which he is doing at the moment, a nice bonus.

In Gabriel Martinelli, they have constant dynamism but who might be on a similar trajectory to his compatriot Gabriel Jesus, somebody who never added the layer of ice.

But it’s not only in front of goal there’s still a certain hyperactivity about Arsenal. If Martin Odegaard hadn’t to run all day leading the press, you wonder if he’d look even more the natural left-footed heir to Liam Brady, and spread a little more calm.

Declan Rice will run all day too, but in Perarnau’s book we hear how Pep almost lost his newfound patience over Rodri’s early teething problems at City. Until he solved them all by getting him to run less.

No flamin’ match on

At a time when it’s almost possible to find a match live on the telly at any hour of the day or night, the paucity of coverage for League of Ireland clubs in Europe does appear baffling.

On Off The Ball this week, former Derry and Bohs winger Gareth McGlynn made an emotional plea for the disrespect to end, asking how the national broadcaster could opt for the likes of Home and Away ahead or Rovers or Pat’s, home or away. Yet former Dundalk boss Vinny Perth made a lot of sense too, and not just because he refused “to hear a bad word said about Alf Stewart”.

“We aren’t ready yet to be demanding TV rights from the national broadcaster. They’re not far off having to stand on top of chipper vans to get good camera angles.

“Get the product right, get the facilities right and the TV will come at the end. It isn’t stopping Irish football from developing.”

Just about every thread you pull at the moment when it comes to Irish football’s development unravels a lack of financial backing.

But is a government with ears to the ground for Olympic acclaim listening?

Perth did accept the lack of coverage of champions Rovers, in particular, and their successful progress to the league rounds, was disappointing.

Should some responsibility be tied into RTÉ’s funding public service remit?

“It should come from government level to almost insist on it.“

Fair dinkum.

Heroes and Villains

STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN

Cora Staunton: A hat-trick on her comeback at 42 for Carnacon last weekend for the national treasure. In the process triggering the latest episode in Mayo LGFA’s addiction to controvassy. Castlebar Mitchels have since objected to her playing over an eligibility technicality and have been handed the points, giving Cora the opportunity to rescue Carnacon again in a relegation playoff this weekend.

HELL IN A HANDCART

Tottenham: Named the Premier League’s best-run club this week. Fair dues. But do the workings take into account their long-term savings on trophy polish?