Election 2024: 'We came to Stockholm for the IVF, we are staying for our child'
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Cork native Damien Mullins makes no bones about what brought him and his Swedish wife to Stockholm to live permanently.
The couple have been back and forth between Ireland and Sweden for 12 years. In 2017 they made it permanent.
“We wanted to do IVF, and it wasn’t publicly available in Ireland yet. And once you pay your taxes here you get three free goes,” he says. It took another four years and change before the couple got pregnant with their son Bo Séamus.
“It’s the reason we’re here. It’s not the most perfect country in the world, you miss your friends and family. There’s something very special and wonderful about Ireland that you can’t comprehend unless you’ve lived there,” he says.
Damien, originally from Turner’s Cross, makes clear his affection for where he grew up.
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“But we came here for IVF, and now we’re here because of our child, because I think in his first four or five years we can give him what he needs here, and then when he’s a little bit older, we can see what he needs then.”
For now, Sweden, particularly in summer, is idyllic. “It’s just a complete outdoor life, the access to the outside, the archipelago. Weekends are spent up on the sea. You’re just in nature, it’s beautiful,” he says.
Damien, a vice principal at the Europaskolan Sodermalm school in Stockholm, originally worked in homeless services in Ireland before making his Swedish pilgrimage.
Bo turns two in December so has nearly a year of forskola under his belt. Does his father think the care offered in Stockholm is superior to that in Ireland?
He says:
"We’ve a lot of foreign workers, foreign teachers, who often use childcare as a stepping stone back into teaching education.”
Damien and Sara pay the equivalent of about €240 per month for Bo’s care. “It’s very heavily subsidised and affordable,” he says. “And everyone that works there has education, and is on a graded pay system”.
Like Ireland, problems with childcare pay and staff retention also exist in Sweden — a monthly salary of about €3,000 appears to be the norm.
“The early years education itself is very regulated and very formal. You get scolded if you’re late, and you have meetings with staff to assess progress. We’ve one at 6pm tonight and one of us has to be at it.”
“The way it’s so regulated is one way Sweden is ahead of Ireland. The kommun has to provide it. The model of private will only ever lead to one thing,” he says. “They got a good start 50 years ago in terms of social responsibility and planning. I don’t think you could do it now though.”
In terms of what children are learning, he says: “There’s a massive focus on outdoor play and learning from play.
Damien and Sara split their 480 days of parental leave about 80:20 with her taking the majority of it. “You could share a year off comfortably on 80% of your salary,” he says.
He cites the forskola’s policy of open preschool, with parents in attendance, as “one of the most incredible experiences” he’s had on his own parental leave. “It was fantastic to see them learning. You’d be a fool not to do it.” he says.
He does sound a word of warning though. “The exceptional social care here is all structured on allowing us to work. Parents have to work here, and they have to work hard. In Ireland it’s worse though. There you pay a salary not to see your kid.”