‘He can’t hide behind his badge': Nicola Hanney speaks of abuse suffered from ex-garda partner

Moody was sentence to three years and three months for coercive control — one of the first people in the State to be convicted of this type of abuse. 

The former garda harassed Ms Hanney and threatened her, after meeting her on a dating site in 2017.

Ms Hanney, who just released her new book, Stronger: What Didn’t Kill Me, shared her story with Patrick Kielty.

“It’s crazy to think that just one swipe to the right can change your whole life,” she told The Late Late Show host.

Describing what Moody was like in the initial stages of their relationship, Nicola said: “Paul was great. Like, just even from the first message I remember he just had that personality. 

You know — even in the first messages, he knew how to make a girl laugh. He was very charming. 

She didn’t see red flags in the early stages. 

“We were both falling in love," Nicola said.

"There would have been small things and you would have probably, you would have second-guessed yourself, because obviously I was single, living my own life and then you meet a partner and I felt like at times, you’d end up being confused in the little things. 

"You’d end up thinking, 'was that me?'” 

After she broke up with Moody, Ms Hanney discovered that she was pregnant - and that her cancer came back.

“We’d already broken up and I discovered I was pregnant. It was a bittersweet moment I would say. I was starting to see the red flags and I knew I couldn’t be in a relationship with this man. I just didn’t know what to do,” she told Kielty. 

“The same thing that happened me the first time, my hand was drawn to my breast and I found a lump again”.

On the day her son was born, the nurse in the hospital overheard how he’d spoken to her and put him out of the building: “Yeah, she overheard him. It was just so cruel. The things he was saying… I definitely felt the pain when he said to me that I just came here to watch you bleed to death. The things he was saying, you definitely wouldn’t say to a woman that was having your baby. It was soul destroying”.

When she returned home after her son was born, she discovered that her whole apartment had been “stripped”.

“Every single thing you can imagine, down to the toilet brush, to biscuits I had bought, I had everything organised for all my visitors coming to see me and the baby…. It was like an empty apartment when you walked in, with the basics. 

"I think in his mind he thought this is the only way I can get her back, that if I take everything, she’ll have to come and live with me."

However, the abuse continued after their baby was born. Nicola said: 

It only got physical after I had the baby. I didn’t realise the power or control somebody could have over your life just because you had a child from them.

“The only way out there was for me, was to die at that time.” 

Speaking of Moody being convicted, she recalled: 

“The whole thing was horrendous. 

"To me, on the way home in the car after the court case I honestly felt like somebody had died… there was nothing to celebrate for me. That was my child’s father. That affected me for a long time after that”.

Now, she says she does not feel anything for Moody.

“To me he’d be a fool if he ever tried to come back into my life. 

At the end of the day, he can’t hide behind his badge no more. People do know who he is now. I’m not afraid of Paul. 

“I feel so lucky to be alive," she said.  

"I know that I am one of the lucky ones and I will never take that for granted” 

As the interview came to an end, she pleaded with anyone in abusive relationships to tell someone that they trust that they will be believed.

[] If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please click here for a list of support services.