BMW M2 review: Packs malevolence with menace

Only two more sleeps until Santa arrives, but we here at Examiner Motoring have worked tirelessly to bring all you autophiles an early Christmas present – and what a thing it is.

It is, of course, our bounden duty to go to whatever lengths necessary to bring to you the best that the automotive industry has to offer – from the cheapest, to the most economic, the best-looking, the most outrageous and, of course, the fastest things car manufacturers have to offer.

This week, being the week that is in it, we have surpassed ourselves as we present to you the brand- new BMW M2, which may just also feature in next Saturday’s annual Examiner Motoring Car Of The Year extravaganza and which is undoubtedly one of the fastest things we’ve laid our sweaty little hands on in the past 12 months.

But, just as a bit of background and for those few of you who might not know, BMW’s sporting arm was originally called BMW Motorsport GmbH, but is now simply BMW M GmbH and is nominally the subsidiary of BMW AG which makes fast cars.

However, anyone with any few millilitres of dino juice in their veins will get a jolt of adrenaline straight into their systems the second the ‘M’ designation is mentioned.

The division was set up back in 1972 with just 35 employees and its first effort was the E9 which eventually gestated into the 3.0 CSL, which was designed by Wilhelm Hofmeister who was the man behind the ‘Hofmeister Kink’ which is a design trait unique to BMW cars and still seen on them to this day.

The 3.0 CSL was actually a homologation special – there were only ever 1,265 made – and a fearsome track presence in the European Touring Car Championship in the hands of luminaries such as Chris Amon and Hans Stuck and nicknamed ‘The Batmobile.’ Such was its success, BMW decided to expand the ‘M’ division and sell its cars to the public and, right now, it offers modified versions of nearly every BMW model. 

But the one which most brought it to the attention of the buying public was the E30 M3 which first saw the light of day in 1986 and was a massive sporting success in both rallying and touring car racing.

In sales terms it only clocked up some 17,100 units, but its successor, the E36 M3, caught people’s imaginations and BMW made and sold over 70,000 of them. The ‘M’ designation had finally achieved the sort of public adoration that is only reserved for true automotive legends.

And, like most legends, it grew – and grew to the point that the ‘M’ division was now and integral – nay, vital – part of the overall scheme of things within the Munich concern, growing, evolving and developing in tandem with the parent company.

We first saw the M2 in 2015 (it was designated as the E87) and it came equipped with an in-line three litre twin turbo engine whose power varied from 364 to 444 bhp, depending on which version you bought. It was a small pocket rocket based, nominally, on the hugely successful 2 Series and was an instant hit with the public, selling over 61,000 units during its lifetime and until production ceased in 2021.

With the original having been such a popular model, a second version was therefore a foregone conclusion and this is the car we are presenting to you for Christmas.

It is important to note here – and especially for the not-so-clued-in – that the ‘M Sport’ designation you see on many BMW cars these days is merely a trim level and offers none of the pace, ferocity and adrenaline of the ‘M’ cars proper.

The M2, on the other hand, is the real thing – a fire-breathing, rip-snorting, fine-tuned piece of engineering and design which is, in our humble opinion, among the best things the M division has ever made, incorporating as it does such a wonderful blend of sporting prowess, predictable handling, comfort and joie de vivre.

In terms of looks, the car balances the necessary malevolence of the genre with just a hint of subtlety. The front-end look – all air vents and hyper aerodynamics – is actually redolent (for those of you who remember such things) of the Brabham BT34 ‘Lobster Claw’ F1 car of the early seventies which was campaigned by such luminaries as Graham Hill and Carlos Reutemann.

That car was notable for the unusual disposition of the twin radiators and central wing ahead of the front wheels and how it got its nickname is something of a mystery as it doesn’t look like any lobster claw I ever saw, but no matter. Take a look at the front of the M2, however, and the similarity is striking.

At the back and aside from the diffuser and assorted aero trickery, the stand-out feature is the positively menacing quad exhausts which look, for all the world, like a machine gun nest.

Throw in 19” wheels on the front and the 20 inchers at the back, the carbon fibre roof, adaptive lights, the in-house stability control and analytic software, M performance brakes with red calipers, the bespoke ‘M2’ branded electric seats, and steering, throttle, suspension and exhaust settings which are all driver-adjustable, and you begin to get the picture that this is no ordinary boy racer.

In fact, the car is so well equipped that there are few options and one of those is that rather than the standard eight-speed M Steptronic auto gearbox, you can get a six-speed manual, but this is only for impecunious nerds who are, in fact, no better than bar bores.

And so, we get to the business end of things and once you start it up via the little red button in the centre console. Pressing that button issues forth a menacing rasp from the straight six, just to kick things off, but it tells you right from the off that you’re not dealing with any ordinary bucket of slops here – even before you turn the wheel.

When they do turn – with only the rears doing the pushing – the potential for menace is immediately obvious as progress is so swift and concentrated, you’ll find yourself reaching for the paddle-shifters to get to the next cog before you’re arrested for breaching the peace, not to mind speeding.

Output is some 454 bhp (approximately the same as the aforementioned BT34 with its Cosworth V8 DFV) and this is up by 49 bhp on the original M2 and about the same shy of the current M3/4 models. Progress to 100 km/h from a standstill takes just 4.1 seconds, while the top speed is limited to 250 km/h.

You will be shocked by the positive reactionism of the steering with every movement counting and while straight line stability is impressive, wait until you get it onto a B-road and experience it slashing across the countryside with unparallelled poise and grip levels that have to be experienced to be appreciated.

Undoubtedly the electronic trickery helps greatly here, but if you want to experience sideways or on-the-door-handles motoring, select the ‘sport’ mode or press either of the red steering wheel mounted ‘M1’ or ‘M2’ buttons and you can introduce hooliganism to your driving profile.

As you might have guessed, we really liked this car. While a considered progression on what preceded it, the new M2 is an unbelievably exciting car and savagely capable at the same time. Unfortunately it is probably something of an anachronism in our increasingly electric world, but I’ll take it any day of the week.

In fact, if the BMW people could get the one I asked Santa for so he can deliver it any time before tomorrow morning, that would be just fine.