Alison Curtis: I am using the new year to find ways to improve my parenting skills
Pic: O'sullivan Marc
It's the time of year when we vow to ourselves (and others) that we will make certain changes in our lives for the coming year. There are some really obvious goals people set at the beginning of a year then there are some really personal targets people set out as well.
However this year, like last year, I think a lot of people took the pressure off from the tradition of betterment to focus more on “survival.” We spoke about this on my show on January 1st and most of the listeners said that they weren’t making any resolutions this year instead they were continuing their focus on keeping their families happy and healthy.
I thought about doing the same but then I changed my mind and thought about using the New Year as a chance to evaluate my parenting and see what improvements or changes I can make.
One of the first resolutions I am committed to changing is the amount of screen time both my daughter Joan and I have daily. Over the past few months, we were incredibly busy as a family moving back into our renovated home. There were a lot of added pressures which meant it was easier while we were packing and unpacking, meeting with the builder and generally sorting out our lives for Joan to be occupied on the iPad.
So now that we are somewhat settled I am going to limit her time on the iPad and also mine on my phone. We have created a wonderful space for Joan in her new room to be as creative as she would like. A big desk, comfy chair and loads of art supplies.
Thankfully she has naturally been drawn to this space to work away independently and I am going to encourage it as often as I can.
A second resolution is I want to make more time for is for Joan and me to do things together. She has shown an interest in crocheting and I am determined to try and remember how to do it and have fun with her making all sorts of creations. As her parent, I want to set aside time with her to do things that we will both enjoy and that she can learn from.
I also want to encourage her this year to gain more independence in the kitchen, my third resolution. Again now that we are in our home with a much-improved kitchen space and the fact that she will be 11 this year it is a great goal to get her cooking more and preparing food herself.
A fourth resolution, and something I have thought about a lot in the past year, is finding more opportunities for Joan to learn. Simple things like when we are on a walk we can talk about what kinds of trees we see. Or to help build her knowledge about Ireland’s geography, wildlife and the science behind everyday things we see.
My father was particularly good at this with me as a child and I remember so much of what he taught me. He seemed to take every opportunity to impart knowledge to me and this is something I want to become more aware of with Joan.
My fifth resolution as a parent is to improve my patience. I think most of us go through good and bad periods of this with our kids and it is always down to other stresses in our lives leading to having low reserves.
But I feel this is something I have to learn to manage better this year. I want to work better with Joan to get the behaviour from her that I want without losing my temper. This means more time explaining my position and listening to her as well. Coupled with this is me reminding myself to pile upon the praise when things are good.
Having said all of this, and setting out all these goals, I do recognise we are all facing the same challenges we have been living with for the past two years. And not setting any resolutions other than just keeping everyone happy and healthy, is equally as important.
