Alison Curtis: Make Valentine’s a day to appreciate all the people you love

He would buy mom a large bouquet of flowers, and my sister and I would get one red rose each or identical small bunches of flowers. He would buy mom a big box of chocolate and my sister and I smaller versions. He would leave cards for all of us before he went to work and I so clearly remember reading them before going to school and how happy it made me.

Sadly, in 1989 he passed away on Valentine’s Day. It seemed cruel that he would die on a day he loved so much and for years afterwards I ignored it as a holiday.

It wasn’t until a few years later that his sister, my gorgeous Aunt Kathy, suggested that my sister and I should start celebrating the day again in his honour — to bring back the love associated with Valentine’s and remember all the wonderful things about him.

It took a few years, a good few years, for me to get there. Even the first few Valentine’s my then-boyfriend now-husband were together, I told him not to do anything. I didn’t want presents or to go to dinner; I just wanted the day to pass.

But when our daughter Joan arrived, something changed for me. I wanted to repeat for her what my father had done for me. 

I told my husband about dad’s traditions for Valentine’s Day and, from Joan’s first Valentine’s, each year she and I both get the same beautiful presents from my husband.

Last year Joan was so so happy with her stunning long-stemmed rose. She minded it and cared for it and was so proud it was hers. Equally, she enjoyed her chocolate treats.

It is so sweet to be able to carry on my father’s tradition into my new family. It is a connection to him that lives on and has become part of Joan’s life too.

Each year, of course, I am struck by the sadness of losing him and fear that, as more and more time passes, I will forget more about him. But Valentine’s offers me a chance to celebrate the remarkable person he was and to talk to Joan about her grandfather.

In short, Valentine’s is about celebrating love. Not only is it a day to cherish your partner, it's also a day to show your children, parents, and friends how much you love them. And for them to show you the same.

It is a day to call your best friend, to tell your life-long pal you adore them. To send flowers, cards and gifts to whoever you hold dear. A day to compliment a colleague, to donate to a charity or to just stop, pause and be thankful.

This year we won’t be filling restaurants or going far afield for dates, but that is okay. This year we can get back to the very core of Valentine’s — being with the ones you love, being kind to them, and really celebrating one another.

Happy Valentine’s Day!