Diary of a Gen Z Student: Thanks, trolls — you've made me a resilient, snotty, bimbo princess
Student Columnist Irish Barry Trinity Cronin And Cowan Examiner Jane College Photo:
I’ve been writing this column for just over a year now. In that time, I’ve offended a large portion of my readers.
The offended like to inform me, though they do tend to be a little less than diplomatic. And that’s fair enough. I say my bit, you say yours, and the world keeps on turning.
Luckily, I’ve got thick skin, so it’ll take a lot more than being called a ‘mentalist bimbo’ to rattle this gal.
Honestly, writing this column has been like taking a crash course in resilience. I can’t thank my internet trolls enough for the training. I’m practically indestructible now.
I’m not particularly popular with the over-40s. Apparently, they think I’m ageist! But that’s where they’re wrong.
One of my favourite people is my grandad! Luckily for me, he’s got a great sense of humour. And I think it’s genetic.
You call me a snowflake, and I accept it, but one jibe by me about arthritis, and you guys crumble. I’m no expert, but maybe it’s you that could do with some resilience building.
My humour doesn’t land with everyone. ‘Tongue in cheek’ appears to be an unfamiliar concept to certain members of Gen X.
Sure, you can’t win them all. When I wrote about how younger people don’t bother with punctuation in our texts, old folks’ homes across the country threatened revolution.
People were terribly concerned, calling me an ‘illiterate degenerate’. I hate to point out the obvious, but it would be tough to be an illiterate journalist. I’m good, but I’m not that good.
I was also declared a ‘Snotty. Little. Nit-picking. Princess.’, a phrase I have since added to my Instagram bio.
But the best comment was, ‘That’s a strange stance to for a writer to take, especially because she used full stops and commas throughout the article’.
I thought it was equally strange for someone of that generation to miss such pointed satire, considering they were raised on Fawlty Towers and Blackadder.
Having something to say is a precarious position.
When I wrote an article about the terrible impact that the idealisation of thinness has on women and girls, someone chimed in to tell me my article was ‘less valuable than a fart’.
Then, I was told I look ‘a bit fat, but not too bad’. Cheers, Roy. I don’t remember looking for your input about the size of my waist. But I was glad to see you took the article on board.
The rest of my trolls tend to focus on my appearance, desirability, and chances for reproduction. My ‘hair and outfit are that of a 60-year-old’. I ‘need to avoid the clubs in case my blandness catches’.
I’ve also been told, ‘No boys will call her for a date’, only proving that this troll hasn’t a notion how these things work nowadays.
If he’d read my column about how young people use phones, he’d know that making calls is so last century. It’s tough, you know, when all of these middle-aged men tell me I’m unattractive.
I get it, when I write about the turmoil of modern dating, I should expect feedback. But to the guy that told me my column about dating was ‘the most pathetic anything’ he’s ever read, I would challenge him to read my diary. That’s where things reach dire straits.
I want to be fair to my readership. As the saying goes, it’s not all men. Too true: It’s women as well! I recently wrote about my aversion to men getting their nips out during yoga.
Things escalated to a woman’s poor attempt to slut shame me: ‘I bet she had leggings so far up her butt, leaving nothing to the imagination…’ Firstly, was the ellipsis necessary? I’m hyperventilating just thinking about it.
Secondly, I’m hearing that you think my derriere is showcase worthy. And I can’t thank you enough for the encouragement. Added some extra tight leggings to my basket, just for that.
Look, I really love writing this column. Dealing with public opinion is part of the job.
All the trolling has made me the resilient, snotty, bimbo, princess I am today. And I’m OK with that. There’s something I never thought I’d say.