What A Difference A Day Makes: Marty Whelan on becoming a grandfather
Whelan Marty
Lily Norah came six weeks early.
My daughter, Jessica, had been in the hospital, so my wife Maria and I were in and out constantly.
We were in the building when she was born, which mattered — it would have been very difficult to be at home biting your nails.
So we were hanging around for ages, being useless, but it’s about being in the present — and our Jessica knowing we were there for her, and for her husband, Conor.
Lily Norah coming six weeks early, we were surrounded by people going ‘oh merciful hour!’ But Jessica, all those years ago, had come six weeks early too, so in a way we weren’t panicked.
Other people were saying ‘oh my God!’ but we were ‘no, no, it’ll be alright’.
When we were expecting a grandchild, people said ‘you’ll love having a grandchild, it’s terrific’. And I was going ‘really?’ I couldn’t see it.
But, literally, the second she was born we were on a high and we haven’t come down since. We’re over the moon, besotted with her.
It was a couple of weeks by the time we got to see her, or got a hold of her. And that was very difficult. We’d seen pictures of her, but in the
hospital we couldn’t see into the premature babies’ section. In films, you see grandparents outside the window, looking in, but we couldn’t see in.
And then a friend came to stay in our house and she had covid. So when we were allowed see Lily Norah, even though we didn’t have covid, we couldn’t take the chance.
We’ll always remember going out to Jessica and Conor’s house and standing outside the window looking in at her. You couldn’t make it up!
But eventually we got to see her. And it was very funny because she’s the image of her dad — you’d be looking at her, thinking ‘is there any sign of Jessica at all?’
And she’s like her dad’s sister, her auntie, which is very cute.
When we got to hold her — well, you just smother the baby in kisses and you don’t want to give her back.
Holding her is the most amazing thing — she’s only tiny and she’ll cling to you of course, all babies do.
I find it very hard to take my eyes off her. I can’t stop looking at her. It’s mad isn’t it? But it’s the love that comes immediately without any prompting.
The unconditional love you have for your child, you also have for your grandchild. It’s literally the same sort of love and I’m surprised at that — how could I have more of this to give out? But I do.
We live in Malahide, and they’re in Donabate — 12 minutes from each other.
You hear stories of people who’ve a child away in Melbourne and they don’t get to meet their grandchild for a year or two. We’re so lucky we’re just up the road.
We see her every few days. I’m obviously in RTÉ, but Maria is there and she could be minding her for an hour, or Lily Norah could be spending a day with us.
This weekend she’ll spend an overnight with us — there’ll be ruaille buaille. Maria is Nana Mia, I love seeing the two of them together. And when the three of us are together we have a great time.
To sit with her on the couch is lovely… she has become incredibly inquisitive. I’m amazed at how quickly that has happened.
She follows light, is looking out of the window, looking from one person to another — it’s a very good sign I suspect.
The greatest thrill was finding out they were calling her Lily Norah. My mother, Jessica’s nana is Lily, and Norah is Conor’s nana.
So it was very special that the two grandmothers were recognised. My mother and Jessica were as thick as thieves. They were very close, they’d sit on the couch and watch movies and talk the talk.
I think a relationship with a grandparent is very important if it can be a good one. I saw the way Jessica and my mother talked about things, the way stories were told.
Since Lily Norah was born Maria and I feel a responsibility in terms of our health and wanting to be here as long as we can to see her grow, develop into a little girl and then into a bigger girl.
Inevitably you say to yourself ‘I hope I’m here for a while to have a relationship with her, and to be able to talk to her about things’.
What do I look forward to? Obviously it all depends on what she wants to do in life, on her interests.
I love music, it’s my life. I hope I can introduce her to the songs that mattered to me over the years. I’d love her to love music.
I’d bring her to musical theatre and introduce her to a bit of opera.
And love her to bits, of course.
- Radio and TV personality Marty Whelan is the official ambassador for GSK ‘Understanding Shingles’ disease awareness campaign.
- For more information visit UnderstandingShingles.ie (understandingshingles.ie/), or speak to your doctor/practice nurse/pharmacist about shingles