If you don't want to pay €30k for a wedding, here are alternative ideas for your big day

Back in 2010, guests believed they were attending Cecelia Ahern's baby daughter's christening until they turned up to discover they had been invited to her wedding.  More recently, Saoirse Ronan and her gentleman love, tied the knot in a secret, low-key ceremony in Scotland.

According to a survey conducted by hitched.co.uk preparing to say “I do” can take the average couple 18 months and those two little words can be costly. Weddingsonline.ie reveal the average budget for walking down the aisle in Ireland is €29,812.

There is, however, a new trend emerging where those thinking of getting wed are exploring options other than the traditional church wedding.

Ivy Jestin and her husband Tony married in the registry office witnessed by two long term friends. Afterwards the quartet enjoyed a meal in a hotel, and following this they were brought to the evening venue where their blessing ceremony was witnessed by their nearest and dearest.

Ivy says they “opted for this non-traditional style of wedding as it was far more relaxing and enjoyable both for us as well as family and friends. We are also more mature in age and wanted to enjoy our big day.” 

 Woven into the tapestry of the couple’s personalised service was the lighting of candles, of which different colours were chosen to represent the various chapters in their relationship. To further bind becoming a married couple, Ivy and Tony “jumped the broom.” 

A poignant act involving the married couple jumping, hand in hand, over a broom laid out by a family member. It is a ritual symbolising “jumping” into their new lives together, the broom itself, denotates sweeping away the past.

For Ivy, the best part of her day was the blessing ceremony “as it was with all our family and friends. It was relaxed and very enjoyable and everyone was at ease.” 

 Although she and Tony arranged their own nuptials, Ivy is of the opinion this doesn’t have to involve a great deal of effort. “We do not feel this is the case. We met with our celebrant who went through everything involved and put us at ease. We would say this is an essential part of the ceremony.” 

 Janice O’Callaghan (www.bespokeweddingceremonies.com) is a celebrant/solemniser with Entheos Ireland. “I perform ceremonies for all faiths and for those who do not have a faith.” O’Callaghan became a celebrant following her grandmother’s death. She struggled to “create a ceremony that represented exactly who my grandmother was. l knew there had to be better way. One that included listening to peoples’ memories, picking readings and songs that reflected a person’s life.” 

 In order to curate the ultimate experience for her couples, O’Callaghan meets with them before their wedding day. “We sit down, and I hear their love story. How they met, fell in love, got engaged, how they came to be getting married. I will tell their friends and family this love story during the wedding. Using their story and life experiences, I find them readings and little enhancements that represent them. I love seeing their faces, when they see all the little touches coming together to make it unique and personal to them.” Typically, it is the couple that asks the questions but on the odd occasion Janet has caught her wedding party off guard.

“Couples are often surprised when I ask them " what is your dream ceremony?” They can be taken aback when I tell them I can perform a wedding that has religious or spiritual elements or a mixture of both, or a ceremony based on traditional elements, like a Celtic wedding.” 

 Janice holds is of the firm belief getting married is a time for laughter and joy. “The same applies to wedding vows. Often couples choose to write their own and they are absolutely beautiful. They realise they have their own story to tell; many have travelled the world, and some are from different cultures. They know a celebrant will listen and create their dream day. My motto is "your day your way" and I'm always delighted to make that a reality.” Love and marriage may go together like a horse and carriage, but weddings have changed in numerous ways over the decades.

David Maury (www.davidmauryphotography.com) has spent fourteen years photographing brides and grooms. He says he can “definitely see a trend where couples are moving away from traditional church ceremonies and choosing instead spiritual or humanist ceremonies. Some venues market themselves as alternative, and that means the couples can have a lot of input on the decor or how the day goes as well as a more relaxed vibe.” Maury has noticed these ceremonies tend to be shorter but “more personal”. 

He outlines other benefits to saying “I do” in an alternative setting. “As they happen at the venue, that means the guests don't have to drive between the church and the venue which, in my opinion, is a big plus. That also usually makes more time for the couple to mingle with the guests at the drinks reception and to get photos taken.” 

 Kiara and Fran Geoghegan are both agnostic and opted for a Lord of the Rings themed wedding/Celtic ceremony with pagan aspects. Kiara explains their reasons. “We tried not to be tied down by traditions. While we have loved and enjoyed traditional weddings of family and friends, it wasn't the road for us.” Having autonomy and being genuine were key factors for the couple on their wedding day, which they shared with their two young children. 

“You want to be authentic and show your family and friends who you both are collectively and what you both believe in.” There were so many memorable moments to their day, Kiara finds it hard to “pinpoint too many particulars. The ceremony itself was magical. A Druid held the ceremony, and he brought the most whimsical fun and energy to the ceremony.” When it comes to planning your alternative day, Kiara doesn’t think there is any singular approach, “apart from just doing what feels right and natural to you both. When planning for your day it is just that, yours”. She does have some advice to offer, however.

“I would definitely try to stay away from pleasing family members who may be of a more traditional mindset but to gently remind them of your own values. As the saying goes 'Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind' which was thankfully our experience.” It wouldn’t be unusual for a bride to be to experience nerves on the day. Kiara has a simple yet effective perfect solution. 

“Breathe. I think we all tend to think things to death at times. Plan things well in advance and just let the day be sprinkled with your own individual groove and kookiness but mostly, just enjoy it. After all it's just one small step in your family's journey.”