What a Difference a Day Makes: I felt reborn when I was diagnosed with ADHD in my 30s

For my whole life, I’d felt there was something different about me, that my brain processed information differently. My emotions are more intense than I perceive others’ to be. I didn’t go to university – I knew I wouldn’t be able to concentrate so I went straight into the work world. I was dealing with a lot of impulsivity and overwhelm, and in recent years my symptoms had got worse.

I constantly get distracted and I was putting a lot of pressure on to get things done in the mornings – automatically setting myself up for failure when I wouldn’t meet tasks I’d assigned myself. So there was a double whammy of disappointment in myself.

In May 2023 I went on anti-depressants. I was really struggling, I’d just gone through a lay-off in my recruitment job with Twitter. In some ways the anti-depressants helped. But I felt I couldn’t settle – I was always chasing the next thing, and the next thing. 

I booked a flight, went to Lisbon last September – and still I wasn’t fulfilled. I just knew I had ADHD. It had become so obvious when I started doing research. I lived in Berlin a few years ago and I had a very intense job that required long hours. It was all very process-oriented work, very admin-heavy, everything I’m not good at. But I knew I had to make that job work. 

I found an ADHD playlist on Spotify. When I put that on I could really focus on my tasks, I could concentrate and learn a lot better. In fact one of the first things I learned about ADHD was that when the brain has another stimulus, like music, it helps concentration.

But I was reluctant to get a diagnosis because I didn’t want a label. I worried I’d become obsessed with a label, that it’d become part of my identity, and also there’s a stigma attached to ADHD. That stopped me for quite a few years. By now in Lisbon I’d launched my business and I was doing a lot of work with companies around inclusive hiring – and increasingly these companies wanted me to focus on neuro-inclusive hiring. 

At a talk in London – I was a guest speaker, talking about my neuro-inclusive business – I didn’t have the level of confidence I’d have liked because I didn’t have a diagnosis. I thought if I’m going to talk about this openly, and push for change in the workplace, I have to get this diagnosis.

In a way I enjoyed the assessment. I felt like someone was really listening to me describe my brain, how it’s wired. He was a very empathetic, kind man. He said I had all the signs of ADHD. Within 24 hours I received a PDF summary concluding I had ADHD. 

I felt profoundly validated. Having lived for 34 years with bad short-term memory, inability to focus on a task, emotional dysregulation, I was finally able to point to something and say that’s why I’m like this. I felt exonerated – and also really emotional because I had to open up a childhood wound where basically I’d felt stupid for all my school years.

It felt like I’d been reborn – finally I can understand myself, I can manage my brain, I can do things that’ll help me, not just to focus but to build a life I will love and that will make me thrive.

 The first person I told was my sister Jen. She knows everything about me, the good and bad. Then I told my mum, dad and three siblings on our family WhatsApp. Everybody was very positive – they knew how pivotal this was for me. 

Getting a diagnosis in adulthood can start a grieving process but I feel happy overall with how my life has gone. Maybe an earlier diagnosis would have helped at school, but I’m a big believer in things happening as they’re supposed to. If things had been different, would I have built up my resilience and drive? Maybe not. 

After I got my diagnosis, I moved back to West Cork. I wanted to be around family. I’ve been tapping into creative outlets, I’d been neglecting. In the business context, I speak very much from my personal experience. 

A whole new world has opened up, not just in understanding myself, but in showing others you can be very functional and live a happy life by understanding your condition and working with it.

• Amy Weidner delivers awareness-training on neurodiversity in the workplace. “Businesses want to use the right language and understand their neuro-divergent employees. Twenty percent of the world is said to be neuro-divergent, which means 20% of most companies are too,” says Amy, who earlier this year was recognised as a ‘LinkedIn Top Voice’ for the ‘neuro-divergent in business’ content she shares on the platform. https://www.linkedin.com/in/amweidner/