Bernard O'Shea: Show them you love them for Valentine's Day - in a different way
Bernard Nolan Photograph Moya O'shea
Love is not just about grand gestures; the quirky, unexpected acts genuinely speak volumes. In a world inundated with romantic clichés, exploring alternative ways to express love is refreshing, especially if you have forgotten to give your loved one a gift.
Recent research delves into the psychology of love, revealing that actions often carry more weight than words. It's not just about saying "I love you" but showing it through tangible acts. Say, for instance, if you opened that box of chocolates before you gifted them because you knew she didn't want to have to eat them all. That's tangible. (Yes, I did that once. Judge me all you want.)
Throughout history, societal norms have dictated the "acceptable" ways to express love, often revolving around romantic gestures like chocolates above and flowers. However, contemporary culture is evolving, embracing unconventional methods to deepen emotional connections and strengthen relationships. I took a shallow dive into the bowels (nothing like the word "bowels" to make any moment romantic) of the internet and found three, let's say, "unique" ways to alternatively show your lurveee.
Contrary to traditional gender roles, sharing household chores is about cleanliness and demonstrating care and consideration for your partner's well-being. Research indicates that couples who equally divide household responsibilities report higher relationship satisfaction levels. So, grab a mop or a vacuum cleaner and show your love by lightening your partner's load. (If you go there, that's your smutty mind, not mine)
Studies found that couples who share household chores tend to have more fulfilling relationships. This phenomenon can be attributed to the sense of equity and teamwork fostered by such arrangements. When both partners contribute equally to maintaining the home, it creates a more balanced dynamic and reduces feelings of resentment or inequality. Currently, I'm looking at the dishes on the worktops and a floor that needs sweeping, so I really should get to that after I look at essential things on my phone.
For couples plagued by sleep disturbances like snoring or restless leg syndrome (yes, it's a thing that I have, ok), sharing a bed can become a battleground rather than a place of intimacy. While the idea of separate beds may seem unconventional in today's culture, it's worth noting that historically and culturally, sleeping separately was quite common.
Sleeping arrangements have varied widely depending on cultural norms and societal expectations. In many ancient cultures like Rome and Egypt, it was not uncommon for couples of higher social status to have separate sleeping quarters within the same residence. This practice was often seen as a symbol of wealth and status, as it allowed individuals to have their own private space for rest and relaxation.
Investing in quality sleep leads to more quality time together when awake. Sleep quality can significantly impact various physical and emotional well-being aspects, including mood, cognitive function, and overall health. When one or both partners experience sleep disturbances, it can lead to irritability, fatigue, and tension. Sleep deprivation can also impair judgment and communication skills, making it challenging to navigate conflicts or disagreements effectively. The old saying "never go to bed on an argument" is possibly wrong!
This may sound like a radical suggestion, but for couples who have completed their family or chosen not to have children, a vasectomy can be a meaningful act of commitment and responsibility. By taking this step together, couples eliminate the need for other contraceptive methods, fostering a more profound sense of trust and intimacy.
The decision to undergo a vasectomy is a profoundly personal one, often influenced by various factors such as family planning goals, health considerations, and relationship dynamics. By opting for a vasectomy, couples demonstrate their mutual trust, respect, and dedication to each other's well-being. But also, it roars out, "I'm willing to do this to my best friend for you."
So whether it's through sharing household chores, prioritising quality sleep, or making significant decisions together, these unconventional acts speak volumes about the depth of our affection.
As we celebrate Valentine's Day, let's remember that love is not confined to chocolates and flowers but encompasses a myriad of gestures, both big and small. But more importantly, if your partner has forgotten to get you the chocolates and flowers, you can ask them in a moment of raw intimacy to "go and empty the dishwasher".