‘Parental leave isn’t just for mums! It's a really valuable support for dads too’
"you Leave Browne More Take Back" Why Accountant Wonders The Clifford Dads Get Don't Time Parental Don't Cork
“My first child, Tom, was born in September 2019, so much of his early years were during the covid-19 period.
Being a new father was tough, of course, but that period made it tougher.
Then just 18 months after the birth of Tom, our second child Harry came along. 20 months after that, Alannah was born.
Just before the birth of Alannah, my workplace began working with a HR platform that champions supporting modern families at work. It's called Platform55. I signed up straight away and the workshops and resources on offer were very beneficial. When our third baby was born last year, I did a refresher course on sleep, for example.
When it comes to dads taking parental leave, especially in blocks, the statistics are quite low, but it was something I was very interested in doing for my family and curious to know why others weren't jumping at the chance.
I hope I can encourage my male peers to open their eyes to it as well because it's easy for us to skip off to work and take two weeks of paternity leave and then skip back to work for the next year and not worry about the household.
My wife would have been quite clued into how much time she could take off from work, and she encouraged me to take a bit of time off so we could stretch the kids' creche start date as long as we could.
It made sense.
At the start, I was probably a little bit apprehensive. Taking a month out of work, I wasn’t sure how that was going to fly, but my bosses (at Kerry Group) didn’t have any issues. in fact, they were very supportive.
There was a bit of worry about making sure the work was tidied up and there was a handover, but you know the date that you’re finishing up, and when you’re coming back, so it’s slightly different to maternity leave in that, you could go early.
Once you get back to work, you’re straight back into it, of course. Whereas I know, when mothers go back to work after a longer maternity leave, there’s a settling-in period as they’ve been away from the workplace for a longer period and you have all of the adjustments that go with that too.
I’m lucky that I've never been met with a response like, “Oh that's a long time to take out of work. Are you sure that's the right thing to do?”
The support I’ve received from colleagues has been very positive, even though as far as I know, none of my colleagues have taken four-week blocks like I have.
There are often misconceptions that taking a month out of work could be detrimental to your career. Career progression is definitely as relevant for men as it is for women.
Taking four weeks to focus solely on my responsibility with my children isn't going to be much of a bump in the road for me. However, I know other people do perceive that it could be.
In my experience, education and workplace culture are the two obstacles when it comes to men taking parental leave.
It’s interesting how that plays out. There are lots of mothers groups you can join, but not so much for fathers.
I’ve also noticed that when I'm around the town midweek, pushing the buggy, it's mainly mothers that you're saluting. I do get some looks and some smiles from people on the street. And I know what they're thinking. They're thinking, “Oh that's unusual”.
Fathers I know and work with might take a day here and a day there, but I’ve done four weeks three times now.
This week I’m in week four. My wife went back to work in January after her third maternity leave so I took a block of four weeks to transition the kids from being with their mother, to going into creche. They’ll start creche next week full-time, but this gives my wife the headspace to get back into her own work. As far as I'm concerned, her work is as important to her as mine is to me.
I love taking my parental leave.
It opens my eyes to what my wife and other mothers have gone through. It's the least I can do, taking four weeks when my wife has taken upwards of nine, ten, twelve months off, and has taken care of the family every day.
It really makes me appreciate what she has done. What I’m doing is a small portion of the heavy lifting.
But because it's not the status quo, there is a way to go.
My eldest child is starting school in September, for example, and if the school needs to call in an emergency, they say the mother is the first point of contact.
I’ve even been praised for bringing the children to the GP.
These comments really struck a chord with me. Even recently, when Prince William stepped away from his royal duties to mind his children, that was the story that made headlines.
Attitudes need to change.
We need to educate men and women that parental leave is out there to be taken by both parents. It's a really valuable support.
You don’t get the time back. It’s great that you can make all of the memories with your children.
For the last four weeks, my being with the children has meant that my wife has been able to concentrate on work.
For her, going back to work was hard enough. I’m very hands on anyway so my parental leave helps me to further to support my wife."