Richard Hogan: Financial strain takes emotional toll on families

I even worked with families where a parent died by suicide because the pressure on them was so great. These were some of the most difficult and unsettling conversations I have ever been involved in. The utter annihilation of what was once good and wholesome, the confusion left in the surviving members of the family, trying to make sense of what had happened to someone they loved so much. The worry about the future and desperate attempt to rebuild their lives after such loss.

The global economic crisis ripped through families in this country and left a trail of chaos and destruction in its wake. And just as we were managing to pull ourselves out of all that mess, we were launched back into further chaos and destruction with a global pandemic. Once again, the family had to manage in the midst of such uncertainty.

Like a bad horror movie, just when you think it’s safe to go back outside, the maniacal lunatic who has been rampaging through the village now defeated, his seemingly lifeless body pops back up again and wreaks more havoc. Just when we felt the pandemic was over, Russia launched an illegal war on the innocent people of Ukraine and the world fell, once again, back into chaos as rising prices catapulted families back to all that stress and pressure they thought they had left behind after 2008.

The rising cost of living is hitting us all. It is impossible to do the weekly shop now and not notice the soaring cost. Everywhere, things are getting more expensive and the pressures on families are beginning to become intolerable. In my clinic, I see the impact this current inflation crisis is having on people’s lived experiences.

A client recently told me that they wanted to visit their sick father in Kerry but the price of fuelling the car for that journey was too much now, and they had to abandon their plans. Another client spoke of the shame they felt having to change their child’s school because they couldn’t meet fees. There is a real sense that things are becoming increasingly unsustainable for families. How much pressure can a family take before it’s too much and it collapses?

The government really needs to look at what is happening and in Budget 2023, due to be announced September 27, there must be some acknowledgement of those pressures on families. I’m not an idealist, I know the government has limited resources. But they must spend those resources wisely and in areas that need them most.

Middle earners are often forgotten in this conversation and are often the most impacted because of the way the tax system is structured. This needs to be addressed or we will witness the complete disintegration of those earners which will put more stress on the government. For many families across this country, the fast approaching back-to-school season will bring further pressure, and some will rely on money lenders to meet the costs of school books, uniforms, stationery, and school trips so their children can live normal lives.

These measures can seem like a quick fix to an immediate and pressing issue but the long-term impact of relying on unscrupulous money lenders is well documented by An Garda Síochána. The hole that people can fall into can be so deep, they never fully climb out.

As we move into this uncertain period, we cannot know how long this cost of living crisis will last. We do know, it won’t last forever. So, we must be more frugal, more careful with our money. Maybe cancelling subscriptions we rarely use or managing our children’s expectations of what they can and cannot buy will be an important part of this journey. 

All members of the family have to pull together now. Parents should not feel shame about having to pull back a little, and being more careful with what they spend their money on. While we don’t want to scare children and bring them into adult conversations about finances, it is important they learn the value of money and learn not to be careless with it, and how to value it.

Children can have a wonderful childhood without massive spending. It’s about being together in the shared complicity of the family unit, that’s what we remember not how much was spent on us.