Edel Coffey: The She Can Do campaign aims to prove that anything is possible
As International Women’s Day 2022 approaches, it feels appropriate to mention the achievements of Dr Karen Weekes, who last week became the first Irishwoman to row solo across the Atlantic. She spent 80 days alone at sea and had to face all sorts of challenges during that time, including diving under her boat to repair it in difficult conditions. Her challenge to row across the Atlantic was part of the ‘She Can Do’ campaign, which aims to encourage women and girls to push themselves outside of their comfort zones and to believe in their abilities to succeed in their own lives and work.
What a brilliant message to try to instil in women. It got me thinking about my own comfort zones and how often I’ve often lingered in them for far too long.
My comfort zone is quite a small space in that lots of things remain outside of it. Things like accepting compliments, accepting success, talking about areas I’m not expert in, pronunciation of words, table settings, being confident, believing in myself, small talk with strangers, sea swimming, pretending to know anything about wine, and countless other little things. I can see why it is often easier to stay inside our comfort zones. But comfort zones, despite the name, are often not that comfortable, especially if we suspect we would like to test the waters outside. Like a favourite old jumper that has bobbled and frayed, sometimes it’s easier to ignore the fact that our comfort zones are no longer fit for purpose than to move into a new zone. Many of us will choose familiarity over the unknown every time.
Age also plays a part. As we get older, we can lose confidence and think that certain things are no longer for us. We can believe that we’ve just missed our chance. It becomes harder and harder to believe in ourselves and the risks start to feel bigger. Fear of failure can also be a big obstacle to taking a leap into the unknown. Confidence is a huge issue for women, especially if we’ve been taught to feel inferior in certain areas. If we then have the audacity to believe in ourselves and fail, won’t everyone laugh at us? Won’t they call us stupid for daring to do something we were told we could not, for trying something we should have known we would fail at? Well, so what if they do?
Having failed a lot, I think failure is a really useful experience. With each failure, my fear of failing diminishes a tiny bit because I realise that I’m still here, the world hasn’t ended, and I get to try again and again and again, or for as long as my dignity holds out. In this way, failures can be empowering as they remind you that you can survive challenges, that you can learn from them and move on. The more worrying question in my mind is not what if we fail but what if we never even try? That would be the real tragedy. If we try, at least we don’t have regrets.
That was the thinking around my early attempts to write a book anyway. I had avoided engaging with my long-held goal of writing a book because I was very fearful of failure. But as the years ticked by and life became busier and busier I realised I had to at least try, even if it was just to know that I had failed. At least then I would have an answer to the ongoing inner question as to whether I could write a book or not. And here’s another thing, often in our brave little attempts to achieve our hopes and dreams, we surpass our own modest goals and in doing so break down our own prejudices about ourselves. These small wins can give us confidence to try again, and often these little wins snowball into big ones. It’s worth moving out of our comfort zones for.
The She Can Do campaign aims to prove that anything is possible when you have self-belief, determination, strategic planning and the setting of progressive goals. While the first two are often a big problem for women, the second two are vital to success. If you can make a plan and put in place practical steps that will bring you to the end goal, even if you don’t have the self-belief or determination, you are much more likely to succeed.
A question worth asking is 'what’s keeping you in your comfort zone and what would it take for you to take the first step outside?' I’m not suggesting a 3,000-mile solo boat ride to start with. Often the first step need only be a small, private step. We might even be able to keep one foot anchored in our comfort zone while edging our other foot out into the unknown.
It’s worth remembering in these times that it’s a privilege to be able to languish in a comfort zone, and vacillate about moving out of it. Why not honour your privilege this International Women’s Day by getting a plan of action and taking the first step out of your comfort zone.
* by Edel Coffey is out now