Joanna Fortune: What can I do about my super excited children at Christmas?

It is such an exciting time of the year, and it is lovely to enjoy it and get stuck in the way you describe. That said, it can be overwhelming for young children to manage that level of excitement over weeks, with Christmas starting seemingly earlier and earlier each year. When children reach hyper-stimulation, they tend to lack the emotional fluency to express the overwhelm in words, so they default to behaviour that plays out in disrupted sleep, eating, or toileting. The best plan of action is to have a structured plan to deal with this.

Now, keep in mind that structure is flexible and adaptable — it bends without breaking. It is not about killing the excitement of this joy-filled season, far from it. In this context, structure sets a more manageable pace for the excitement so children can engage fully without becoming overwhelmed.

I usually advise parents to break up the Christmas season into a main focus per week. For example, starting with the Toy Show, have a little party at home with treats and stay up late. After this, focus on decorating the house/making decorations together. 

Then, move towards the Santa letters (the order of these is flexible because some households encourage writing to Santa earlier) and writing Christmas cards. And wrap up the month by baking some cookies to enjoy or giving them to neighbours or family.

When it comes to the day itself, keep an eye on your children for signs that they are overwhelmed. It is okay, and it can be fun to slow down the gift opening and spread it out over a few days. You may be visiting family over Christmas, but ensure you build in pyjamas and play days at home as well.

Also, get up and out of the house to get a break. Go for walks and cycles. Remember that “going for a walk” doesn’t always sound enticing or interesting to children, so find ways to make that more appealing and playful — go for an animal walk when you change how you walk to mimic a given animal or make it an adventure walk by deciding a code such as hop when you see a blue car, jog when you see a bicycle, spin around when you see a red car, squat twice when you hear a dog barking. 

Play games such as “I went on a picnic, and I brought… X”. Then the next person repeats X, adds Y, and then takes turns adding to the list you brought with you until it gets too hard to remember everything.

Aside from this structure, do your best to stick to bedtime routines. You might find that you can allow slightly later bedtimes if they sleep a bit longer in the mornings, but if you have early risers, then be mindful of how much sleep they need versus what they are getting. 

Also, return to what will be your school bedtime routine at least a few days before term resumes so that they are ready for it. 

This episode of my podcast might be of further help: exa.mn/15-Minutes-Christmas-Tale.

If you have a question for child psychotherapist Dr Joanna Fortune, please email it to parenting@examiner.ie/.