Julie Jay: Being a parent is to be in a constant state of flux
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Facing a new year as a mum to a relatively newish baby, I am once again relieved to be liberated from the shackles of the societal pressure to make sweeping changes to my diet or commit to updating my disused gym membership.
I feel the world doesn’t expect me to commit to a new year overhaul in the same way I once felt under pressure to do so as a 36-year-old ‘teenager’ about town.
I’m on the fence about change in general. Change is a good thing — we all know that, but that doesn’t necessarily make it an easy thing.
As a parent, it can often feel like you exist in an orbit of non-stop flux. Kids are constantly changing, despite part of us wanting them to stay the same.
Such is the internal struggle of parenting: we want them to change because change means growth, but we also want them to stay as they are forever because, at any given moment, they are endlessly perfect, just as they are.
It’s the constant parenting conundrum, especially when the baby is now most definitely on the move.
For the last few weeks now, JJ has been walking. His walk isn’t exactly at the standard of Rob Heffernan just yet, but I feel we need to cut him slack, as we are all shuffling a little bit more than usual, having eaten our weight in Celebrations.
His first steps were taken in Kells, with his Daideo, as he handed my father-in-law a tea cosy. I can only take this to mean he was trying to prevent watermarks on the coffee table because he is exceedingly thoughtful like that.
Next up was my parents’ home, where he delighted in demonstrating his ability to take a few steps and basked in the applause this drew from his adoring grandparents.
Part of me did feel a little pang of jealousy, given that my walking anywhere has never been met with such a response.
Still, part of being a grown-up is letting others have their moment to shine, especially when that other is an extremely cute baby borne of your loins.
Since this milestone has been reached, there has been no stopping him.
Over the last couple of weeks, his adorable wobbles have parted the seas of Christmas shoppers the way Moses parted the actual seas (as in, the water variety).
In his little festive jumpers and tiny runners, JJ is utterly adorable, so much so it would nearly make me want to go again (nearly).
With his big eyes and huge smile, he is an absolute crowd-pleaser wherever he goes, especially when dressed like an elf.
That said, he is thankfully still at an age where running after him involves little cardio because, quite frankly, Mammy is too wrecked for anything beyond a quickened stroll.
Walking has been on the cards for a while, as he has been pushing his brother’s scooter and bike for the last couple of months.
Still, there is something surreal and thrilling to see him walking along, entirely unaided, with nothing keeping him in position bar his determination to get to the sparkly thing.
He is still so tiny it is hard to believe that this is the beginning of him starting his journey and moving in the direction he wishes to go.
Of course, it’s a wonderful development, but there is something a little poignant about knowing I can no longer plonk him on a play mat and find him in the same place moments later.
His brother had been writing him off for a long time due to his inability to move.
When people enquired about his younger sibling, he sighed and said, ‘JJ can’t walk’ with the same resignation that somebody might use about their inability to get a cat to use chopsticks.
He has been rewarding his brother’s progress with hugs and kisses, which is as good an incentive as any for JJ to keep strutting.
While we are all over the moon to have him graduating to the PhD stage of babyhood, nobody is more gleeful about it than JJ, who gives himself a little bualadh bos every time he saunters from one armchair to the other.
He is just delighted with himself and so proud of his achievements you’d swear he was after winning bronze at the Olympics for his ability to get from A to B.
We clap along with him as he congratulates himself on another milestone conquered because his pride in himself is more than justified.
Walking is a big deal — just ask Rob Heffernan.
And I know they say self-praise is no praise, but in this instance, I think we can make an exception.
Because it isn’t every day you start walking away from your mammy, but it is everyday you can celebrate doing just that.