Breastfeeding support from mums who know the difficulties — and the high points
Aimee Daughter Picture Are But Admits Overwhelming Consultant Three Anderson Old Says Daughter Lactation Ellen, Chani Difficult Rewards Weaning The Be Who Can Tebay, Year Is Breastfeeding Currently Her
Working as a midwife and expecting her first baby, Ballincollig-based Aimee Tebay was convinced she would be a natural at breastfeeding.
“I had so much knowledge, so many skills. I thought 'I’m really good at helping mothers with breastfeeding so I’m going to be really good myself'. I thought it’d come naturally to me.”
But within 24 hours of Peter’s birth, Aimee was experiencing pain that would over the next few weeks become “excruciating”. She had “very damaged, cracked nipples” and no matter what position she fed Peter she could not get comfortable.
“I was in so much pain I was reluctant to put him on the breast. The public health nurse said he was growing a little slower than they’d like. I was probably missing his early feeding cues in those first weeks. I found myself dreading breastfeeding and feeling guilty because I wasn’t enjoying my baby.
“I couldn’t believe I was facing a real struggle with this. I remember saying to my partner, Mark ‘What if I can’t breastfeed my son? I mightn’t be able to’. This, after looking forward to it so much.”
Peter is now nine, and, looking back, Aimee believes her breastfeeding struggles started on the first day she put her baby to the breast. “I let him latch on any old way, so the nipple damage was caused on day one and it all went downhill from there.”
That she ended up breastfeeding her firstborn for three years, and that by the time he was nine weeks old she was finding breastfeeding “a joy” is down to her perseverance — and to the support of a great midwife. “I had all this knowledge and experience helping other women breastfeed and I forgot it all when I became a mother.
“My midwife, Mary, explained I needed to bring my baby quicker to my breast. She recommended holding him between his shoulders rather than his head, and said I needed to hold my breasts a certain way too.
“She was the medical person responsible for my care, telling me I was doing a great job. I just trusted her that it’d be OK.”
The mum-of-two also felt hugely supported by Mark. “He’s my biggest breastfeeding champion. So many times, I wanted to stop, but he was my cheerleader — making sure I was fed and watered, that I didn’t have to worry about a thing. We’d sit on the couch, I’d breastfeed Peter, then I’d hand him to Mark and he’d do the burping. He changed all the nappies. He did all the baths — he’d get into the water with Peter as a way of bonding.”
The nipple healing happened slowly, but after nine weeks, Aimee was pain-free. “I could actually relax and enjoy Peter and my maternity leave. I saw the real positives of breastfeeding, the convenience — I’d put him in a sling and feed him while cleaning the house. I could leave the house with nothing but a nappy.”
Her breastfeeding challenges inspired Aimee to train as a lactation consultant so she could help women with similar struggles. She now works as an infant feeding coordinator at CUMH. “My role is to give bedside one-to-one breastfeeding support to new mothers. We also do outpatient clinics with mothers who have ongoing problems with breastfeeding after discharge.”
Carrigaline mum-of-three Aideen O’Donovan is a midwife who also works as an infant-feeding coordinator at CUMH. Like Aimee, she started having sore nipples when her firstborn son, Lachlan, now eight, was three days old. “The second night is notorious for babies wanting to feed a lot. They’re very clever and so is your body, and it’s to help stimulate your supply.”
Despite the soreness, Aideen “worked on ensuring Lachlan was feeding well every time”, but tiredness kicked in. “I felt I wasn’t being as mindful about him getting a deep enough latch. I tried different positions, I kept practising until he learned to open his mouth wide enough, get enough of the breast to feed right and not have it so painful.”
With guidance from the public health nurse, Aideen realised after a few weeks that she had an over-supply of milk. “That may have been why he was clamping down a bit, to slow the flow. I adjusted to a ‘laid-back breastfeeding position’ — I reclined back and with gravity the milk flow was slowed.”
Again like Aimee, Aideen found time helped — eight weeks in, things “spontaneously improved” and she breastfed Lachlan for 14 months.
Both mums have since breastfed their other babies. With son Finley, now four, Aideen felt “more comfortable and competent with the latch”, though she needed to adjust her expectations of how often he should feed and trust instead the level of frequency he looked for. Breastfeeding now two-year-old Cameron, she describes as “a dream”.
Meanwhile, Aimee’s daughter, Ellen, has just turned three. And while she did suffer nipple pain during Ellen’s first eight weeks, Aimee did things a little differently this time around. “I pumped to give my nipples a break, and it eventually got better. There was no magic fix, just my team around me — Mark and Mary.”
Returning to work when Ellen was one, Aimee’s priority was to continue breastfeeding. “My biggest concern was how she’d cope without me — and how I’d find time to pump, given how busy work would be. The thought was worse than the reality — Ellen was established on solids and on a sippy cup, so I didn’t have to pump volumes. I pumped during the day to relieve engorgement and to have a supply for her.
“We’re lucky in CUMH to have a gorgeous expressing room with comfortable chairs and the use of hospital-grade pumps. I stopped pumping at work when she was 15 months. It was my choice. I’d feed her in the morning before I left and at the end of the day I’d look forward to cuddling up on the couch — 'milky cuddles' we called it.”
Breastfeeding mums need every support they can get. Illustrating this is the almost 22,000 queries the HSE online breastfeeding support service has answered since 2016 — common questions include ‘Is baby getting enough?’ ‘How to treat sore nipples?’ and ‘How best to express and store milk?’
The statistic was highlighted in the HSE’s Breastfeeding Action Plan Progress Report, 2016-2023, published ahead of National Breastfeeding Week, which starts today and runs until October 7. The report also highlights other improvements: an almost fourfold increase in the number of dedicated infant-feeding specialists available to support mothers (from 15 to 59 since 2017), a new National Infant-Feeding Education programme underway for HSE staff, and an 18% plus rise in babies breastfed at their three-month developmental check-up since 2015.
The theme for National Breastfeeding Week is ‘Supporting you from Bump to Baby and Beyond.’ West Cork-based infant-feeding specialist Sheila Lucey encourages mums-to-be to consider preparing for feeding while pregnant. “Our support groups are safe spaces for mothers at all stages, whether someone’s pregnant and thinking about breastfeeding, new to breastfeeding and has questions, or is having problems with breastfeeding. We provide non-judgmental support at each of the 215 breastfeeding groups around the country. Support people are also welcome — dad, partner, granny, grandad or trusted friend.”
Meanwhile, in Ballincollig, Aimee is “very slowly and gradually” weaning Ellen. “I believe in natural weaning: I don’t offer but I don’t refuse. Someone recommended a beautiful rhyming storybook, by Yvette Reid, for gentle weaning of a toddler — about saying goodbye on your birthday to booby milk. Maybe Ellen will finish up on her birthday — if she doesn’t, that’s fine too.”
When Aideen went away for three nights in January, she was “full sure” Cameron would not want to breastfeed when she got back. “We had a lovely breastfeed before I left. I remember looking into his eyes, making peace that this might be my last ever breastfeed because he’s my last baby.
“When I got back he wasn’t that eager but after an hour or two he came up and started nuzzling in. So we’re still going. It could be once a day or every three days. I’m in no rush to stop — the global average age of weaning is four years. It’s so handy for settling him — I’m happy to go with what he wants.”
- Join HSE online parenting and breastfeeding community: follow the HSE mychild.ie Facebook page and hse_mychild on Instagram #hsemychild #breastfeeding #breastfeedingweek
Read More