Colman Noctor: I have never heard so many young people complain of loneliness

College campuses are not just places of learning but also hubs of energy and excitement. In the three universities I’ve taught in, the rag and freshers’ weeks used to be particularly energetic. 

I remember many occasions struggling to be heard while giving a lecture due to the thumping beat of the dance music blaring outside.

It was common to see young people sitting on the grass on a sunny day or with multiple bottles of energy drinks on their desks at Friday morning lectures. It was all part of forming their identity, getting an education and having fun.

However, the college campus has changed. The student vibrancy that existed before covid lockdowns has not reappeared. Diminishing student engagement was discussed at the recent HEA healthy campus annual conference in Dublin. 

It is pervasive in Irish third-level institutes and overseas. Societies and clubs on campus have waned, and so has the high energy that impacted the overall student experience.

Many hypotheses were presented at the conference about why this is happening, including the pandemic lockdowns, which significantly impacted college life. 

The housing crisis was also discussed, meaning many students need help to afford to live on campus or nearby. As soon as 5pm comes around, most are on public transport or in their cars returning to the family home, a daily struggle that hampers their engagement and campus life.

A speaker from UCD described how staff stepped in and started a breakfast club.

They had noticed that many students were arriving on campus early to beat the Dublin traffic, and rather than let them sit alone in their cars, they opened a breakfast club to give them an opportunity to connect.

Lonely nation

I have never heard so many young people complain of loneliness. It’s an issue of national concern. Last year, the Loneliness Taskforce Research Network was established at Maynooth University to explore the problem.

Screen-based technologies play a significant role in our difficulty making connections, and the fallout from covid lockdowns has contributed substantially. However, a significant contributing factor is the rise of individualism. 

Individualisation refers to a social process where individuals increasingly focus on their goals, preferences, and identities rather than conforming to the expectations or norms of collective groups such as families, communities, or social classes. 

This trend can be seen in various aspects of life, including economic behaviour, social interactions, and cultural practices. It can also be seen when individuals prioritise personal freedom, autonomy and their desires over adhering to traditional societal norms or expectations.

Sociologist Simon Duncan argues that traditional institutions such as marriage, family, and religious organisations often decline during a period of individualisation as people tend to seek self-realisation and fulfilment outside these structures. Individualism also emphasises self-expression and personal branding, frequently seen on social media.

The individualistic nature of social media can be observed through the centrality of the self in words like ‘iPhone’ and ‘selfie’, which focus very much on the individual. 

This shift towards individualism, while empowering on an individual level, has the potential to weaken community bonds and contribute to social fragmentation, a concern we should all reflect upon.

Sociologist Anthony Giddens speaks of the positive impact of individualism, such as increased agency and autonomy, giving people more freedom to pursue personal goals and aspirations. However, he warns that as individuals prioritise personal goals over collective ones, community bonds can weaken, and there can be a sense of social fragmentation. He says that with an increased sense of responsibility for our success and well-being, there is a potential increase in the stress and anxiety related to personal achievement and failure.

Philosopher Alain De Botton highlights how in the past we often referred to someone who struggled in life as ‘down on his luck’ or ‘unfortunate’. In contrast, people in that position are now commonly referred to as ‘a loser’. This critical response seems to place the reasons for failure on the individual.

Individualisation can also be observed in the labour market, where a job for life is no longer a thing; instead, work life has become more flexible and dynamic, with people frequently changing jobs and careers to align with personal goals, which can lead to opportunities and insecurities in employment.

Psychologists like Ulrich Beck, who have examined the impact of individualisation on mental health, have found that while it can be empowering, it also possesses the potential for increased loneliness and isolation.

It is critical to remember that we functioned as a collective for centuries. Stories of tribes and communities have been a part of our history for as long as records have existed. Therefore, the move away from our sense of a physical community is hugely concerning.

Emotional intelligence

I have felt the effects of individualism over my lifetime. Growing up, I was far more influenced by a sense of community than in my adult life. When I was a child, we had visitors calling to our house most nights unannounced, and I have no doubt this helped to develop my social and emotional intelligence. I compare that to my children’s experience — we don’t have visitors or visit others without at least a week’s notice.

The diminishing role of religion is also a factor. Whatever your religious views, there is no debating the critical role of religious involvement in our social world. Religious practices bring people together.

The loss of a sense of community has far-reaching impacts on our lives and, more importantly, our children’s lives. This process has been happening for quite some time, accelerated by the pervasive effects of technology and the pandemic lockdowns.

When I was growing up in the 1980s, the self-esteem movement encouraged us to be selfish and look after ourselves. It persists. Today, if you go into any bookshop, you will see any number of ‘self-help’ books but almost no ‘help-others’ books. As we become more individualised, we have to realise that helping others is not a selfless act; it helps us feel better. Two of the most effective ways known to improve your mental health are volunteering and joining a choir, because helping others gives us meaning and purpose, and a choir brings us together to achieve a collective goal.

We must do everything we can to help our young people see the profound value of having a tribe, being part of a community and creating a village. At the recent conference, one of the keynote speakers, Prof Mark Dooris from the University of Central Lancashire, said college life is where you ‘learn, work, play and love’. While I have no doubt we have done well to maintain young people’s ability to learn and work, we have a bit of work to do on the play and love aspects, which we underestimate at their peril.

• Dr Colman Noctor is a child psychotherapist