Dr Phil Kieran: Help me reassure my son about what height he'll be
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Height and weight can be delicate subjects, particularly in boys, where schoolyard teasing can be merciless.
To reassure you, most children I see who are not growing at the same pace as their peers end up being completely normal. They are just starting their growth spurt later.
The first step is to look at the height the child is likely to reach. If mum is 5ft 1in and dad is 5ft 4in, then it's unlikely the son will reach 6ft 6in.
To estimate a boy's future height, take the parents' height in cm and add 13cm to the mother’s height. Add the two and divide by two to find the average (for girls, you subtract 13cm from the father’s height). This will give you some idea of where he will likely end up genetically.
For more detail about your son's projected height, you could look up 'childhood growth charts' online, which give the UK-WHO guidelines. These will show if he is heading towards a height that matches the calculated one above. If your son is outside this height (+/-10cm), I would suggest bringing him to his GP to consider investigations for other causes of short stature.
Discussions around weight can be difficult for all ages. The very last thing you want to do is cause the child to become ashamed of their appearance or develop an unhealthy relationship with their body or food. Weight discussions should be approached openly, ideally with the child leading the conversation.
I don’t recommend talking to a child younger than five about their weight. Try not to use loaded or judgmental phrases like 'overweight' or 'fat' but instead focus on health and growth.
Even when I talk to adults about their weight, I focus on health, good exercise, and dietary habits rather than weight itself. For anyone with a bigger body, I avoid referring to dieting or trying to lose weight, as research shows it tends to have an overall negative effect.
In your son's case, it sounds like he is a bit late starting puberty. This will give him a more childlike body shape and shorter stature. It can be completely normal up to 14 and tends to run in families.
If you or his dad were later than your peers starting puberty this could be reassuring to him. But if neither of you had later puberty, it may be a good idea to bring him to his GP to see if there is any other reason that this would be delayed.
- If you have a question for Dr Phil, please send it to parenting@examiner.ie