Julie Jay: Move over Kim, there’s a new boss in town and her name is North

Even at the tender age of 10, Kim’s daughter North West is quite clearly calling the shots if recent episodes of the reality show Keeping Up With The Kardashians are to be believed. Yep, it’s a case of move over, Kim; there’s a new boss in town, and her name can be found on compasses everywhere.

Like so many other telly fanatics, I have been thoroughly enjoying the many clips from the latest season of the reality show, which have gone viral, primarily because North is consistently giving her mother brutally honest feedback on her wardrobe choices and being precocious in the way only a 10-year-old child can be.

Over the last few weeks, North has proved herself funnier than half the comedians out there with her hilarious one-liners and cutting, preteen put-downs, with her mother announcing her as the “next Joan Rivers”.

Particular highlights have included North denouncing Kim’s ex Pete Davidson’s fashion choices: “You’re going to the Met Gala, Pete, not the gas station,” and her response to her mother’s “I love you” with an eye-roll and “I need lip gloss”. And who would blame North? All moms are embarrassing at her age, even when that mom is Kim Kardashian.

Kim’s nervousness is palpable in all the mother-daughter scenes where Kim parades several couture outfits for North’s assessment. Like so many kids, North is devoid of any filter, but unlike most kids, she gets to criticise the dress in front of the sensitive artistic soul, Daniel Roseberry, who designed it.

Witnessing Kim defend her outfit choices and having to take the biting levels of honesty from her daughter on the chin is strangely comforting. 

North is clearly running rings around her mother, who, much like the rest of us, is an absolute soft touch when it comes to her kids, and we love her all the more for it.

Kim’s bewildered responses are a reminder that she is learning on the job too, and North is simply fulfilling her role as an offspring in pointing out that parents are as fallible as anyone else. 

As North’s commentary highlights, parents are just people, people whose pearls sometimes look fake (the moment North accused Kim of wearing fake pearls to an event was the moment we watched Kim silently crumble — accusing her of cheap accessories is really her kryptonite).

I believe the only way is up for this child star, who I imagine will only take more of the centre stage as the show continues.

Looking to the future

Picture this: the year is 2033, and the glamorous Kardashian mansion, with its marble floors and gold accents, is the epitome of luxury. Yet, in the midst of all this opulence, there’s a revolution happening, and it’s being led by none other than the young powerhouse, North West. Barely out of fashion school, Northie has decided it’s high time she took the reins and showed her mom how it’s really done.

First things first, no more of those skin-tight outfits and killer heels for Kim. Oh no, North’s fashion sense is all about comfort and style as she forces Kim into some black leggings that sag around the bum and a GAA mam jacket. “Mom, you’ve got to keep up with the times,” she decrees. “This is the era of casual chic.”

Twenty-year-old North’s influence even extends to the family reality show. She’s the new director, and she’s not holding back. Forget the staged drama — North wants to capture genuine moments, like when Kim got a dodgy tummy after indulging North’s request for spicy tacos and the family popcorn bowl subsequently became the family sick bowl. “Reality TV, Mom. The clue is in the name — it’s all about keeping it real.”

As for Kim’s social media presence, North has declared it needs a serious upgrade: no more pouting selfies and glamorous photoshoots. North wants authenticity. Kim now finds herself posting videos of herself putting a towel wash on and finally paying her car tax online. “You’ve got to keep it mundane, Mom,” North reminds her mother. “No one likes a poser.”

But back to reality as we know it. Recent clips of North’s precocious quips warm the cockles because they show a child who is beautifully sure of herself. There is something lovely when kids are at an age where they are so confident in their opinions and so ready to voice them. Of course, the tricky navigation of the teen years can often temper that confidence, and all we can do as parents — Kim Kardashian included — is to nurture that surety of self for as long as we can.

And so, we raise a toast to North West, the tiny titan of the Kardashian-West empire. May her one-liners be zingy, her fashion fabulous, and her bedtime, of course, negotiable.