And 'off Switch' Wants Attention Constantly My Joanna My Fortune: Baby Has No

Joanna Fortune: My baby has no 'off-switch' and constantly wants my attention — Istock Pic:

Wed, 13 Dec, 2023 - 07:47

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Psychotherapist Child

My baby is 13 months old and seems to have no off-switch. She constantly wants my attention and I find it difficult to keep the house clean or call a friend. I find it exhausting. At least she sleeps through the night.

It sounds like your daughter is a typically developing 13-month-old. And, yes, the constant demands of a child this age can indeed be exhausting.

While we may want our very young children to play alone for an hour or so, it is not a reasonable expectation. Children at one year old can play alone for approximately 15 minutes before they will come looking for you, which might stretch to 20 minutes by the time she is 18 months old.

Just because they can play alone for short periods doesn't mean they will always do it. And if they are unwell, tired, or teething, it is quite normal that they will want to be in your arms all the time.

Of course, as parents, we want them to occupy themselves, if only so that we can have a break, get some tasks done, and enjoy a hot cup of tea uninterrupted. But short breaks are all they can manage, so it is all we can expect of them at this age.

When they play alone for even short bursts of time, they may need us to leave their favourite toys or books within reach or set them up with blocks before we can step away.

When our reserves are running low, the everyday demands of childcare can feel overwhelming. Parents of very young children need a support network to carry them through this intense time. We need our co-parent to step in when we need a break.

Or perhaps we could call on family or friends to give us a couple of hours of babysitting so that we can take a hot bath, go out for a walk and coffee with a friend, take a class at the gym — or whatever it is that gives you space just for yourself which is an essential part of investing in our parental stamina.

We all have the days when we feel like we are sailing through, and we also have days when everything feels like an effort and all we want is to collapse onto the sofa rather than sit on the floor building tower blocks — again.

I suggest you keep an eye on how many days you are feeling exhausted, and if there is no let-up in sight, it might be worth having a chat with your GP, who could check your iron levels and explore with you what else might be leading to your sense of overwhelm and exhaustion.

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