Christmas in August? 'Tis the season to stare in horror at adverts for Santa experiences
Christmas It Special Feel Pinch Es To To When Make The Many Trying Extra
Santa experience hell is upon us, folks. And it’s now even earlier than ever.
Remember the good old days when Halloween costumes were cut-up black bin bags, and only Americans decorated their homes for Easter? Cast your mind back to a time before Elves on the Shelves had novelty costumes, and Christmas “experiences” involved Uncle Paddy getting drunk on Baileys, eating two boxes of Milk Tray, and sing-crying With or Without You on the Karaoke machine Santa brought.
Good times.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m very much a Christmas person. Give me mulled wine, fairy lights, jingle bells on repeat. I'm all over it...in December. It’s just hard to get into the holiday spirit five months ahead of the big day.
This week, some of the Visit Santa experiences began advertising their winter wonderland events. There are now a plethora of options to choose from; Santa trains, Santa farms, Santa forests, Santa sleigh rides, Santa musicals. The scariest part is that slots are already filling up. Pictures with the big man are not longer good enough, it seems. There has to be hyperbolic greeting-elves, elaborate sets, real reindeer...
It’s also beginning to look a lot like Christmas in some high-street retailers where their perpetual Christmas stores have already started mesmerising the masses with their hypnotic baubles and spicy wafts. Let me tell you, nobody needs another naughty or nice throw-cushion, or holly-themed dog collar.
The first sprigs of Christmas commercialisation fills me with dread for another reason; my children. Because even though I’m from the generation reared in benign neglect, my lily-livered children are now part of Generation We-want-everything-we-see.
Most of us will do anything to avoid disappointing our children. We saw that recently with the Taylor Swift tickets – desperate parents, three hours into the online queue, fingers hovering over the €300 VIP ticket button, asking themselves if maybe it’s worth it after all. A second job is always an option.
Let's not forget, the shops are only losing the run of themselves because we are too.
People like you and me are buying the Chocolate Santa’s in September, we are booking four and five Christmas extravaganzas even though they are overpriced and overhyped. We the consumer frenzy.
So, has Santa co-opted the true meaning of Christmas?
If you think about it, all that is Santa goes largely unchallenged. Naturally, nobody wants to be scrooge about things, but the pressure on parents to make Christmas morning the most magical moment of the year has now drastically expanded.
Now there’s an unrealistic, wallet-challenging, half-year build-up consisting of everything from branded advent calendars to light-up Christmas jumpers and themed table settings. It’s not very magical to max out a credit card, or feel bad for not throwing the kitchen sink at this season. After all, it’s the most wonderful time of the year, remember?
Behind the red and white glare is the risk of consumerism gone mad –a sweet childhood tradition hijacked into something a lot less innocent.
However much I give out, it’s pretty difficult to disentangle oneself from the Christmas-pressure vortex. Despite my best intentions, I oscillate between determination to stick to heartfelt traditions or get swept up in flashy commercialism.
But I’m just not sure a mandarin wedged into the bottom of a stocking is going to cut it.
“This is the most ridiculous thing ever,” I text my husband, as I book our yearly trip to our favourite Santa while the sun beats* down. “€130 for us to get a picture with Santa! Will we do Thursday the 21st of December or earlier?”