Coping with the big move from primary to secondary school

“In sixth class, you’re the big guy. Going into first year, you see these big sixth-years who look like grown men,” says the Longford-based 13-year-old, who hadn’t expected the school canteen to be huge and busy.

“I thought you’d walk in and get your stuff straight away. I didn’t think the queues would be so long. Not having any friends at the start was tough — so was having to move classrooms every 40 minutes.”

Despite having an older brother at the school, Michael’s new reality posed challenges to get his head around. “Homework at the weekend, having to study all your notes and written weekly tests. And getting used to the discipline system — what you can and can’t do — black runners only, for example.”

Michael’s one of four first-years from his school — along with Bronwyn McGarry, Holly McIntyre and Gavin Murphy — who’ve put together Big Move 2 Big School, an eight-page booklet of preparation tips for the transition from primary to secondary.

As first year progressed, Bronwyn says she and the others discussed how students struggle in the early stages of the move from primary, saying: “We wanted to help any way we could.” While about 10 classmates came with Bronwyn from her primary school, she still felt nervous.

“I don’t have any older siblings,” she says. “Secondary school was new for everybody in my family.”

For Bronwyn, that initial culture shock was encapsulated in “having different teachers, moving around to different classrooms and having lockers”. Being exposed to large numbers of fellow students several times a day was also overwhelming. Holly agrees: “Switching from class to class, the number of people in the hallways — it gets very crowded.”

Gavin — who initially felt fazed by “all the newness” — says being able to ask for help was a big factor in settling him, making him feel more on top of things.

Everyone feels the same

The Longford students’ self-help guidebook for this pivotal milestone in young people’s lives has been shortlisted for the National Student Enterprise Awards final, which takes place this Friday in Croke Park.

The book is colourful, punchy, and to the point, with advice and scores of tips, including “don’t panic about the first day, everyone feels the same” and “buy an expandable bag to fit all your books”, as well as nuggets of wisdom: “You can’t grow in your comfort zone, go ahead and step out of it”.

Moyne CS business studies teacher Padraig Doherty, who mentored the group, says the students felt they had relevant experience to share with new first-years. He sees the book filling a need. “It has been purchased by primary schools in several counties. Teachers are buying class sets for their sixth-class students.”

And no wonder. The primary/secondary transition is a huge culture shock.

“Primary school has been the children’s world, their comfort zone for the past eight years, they’ve grown up in it, and now it’s time to leave,” says Doherty. “And some children no longer have that friendly face beside them — their best friend — who they’ve been used to for years.”

What’s also scary for children is being asked to make important subject choice decisions for the first time, with potentially long-term impacts — at what seems an impossibly young age. “There are new subjects. They’re taking languages for the first time, and they have to make choices that will impact the future direction of their studies,” says Doherty.

Catherine Cross, services manager with National Parents Council, says parents and children worry about similar issues when a child heads to secondary.

“The big thing for parents is will their child make new friends, will they get bullied,” she says. “They also worry about them managing the timetable. Travel to school can be tough — secondary school might be in a different, busier town, and parents may no longer be bringing their child to the school gate.”

Michael Murtagh’s mum, Rose, says the longer school day was hard to get used to. “It’s an extra hour in the evening and, because we live a bit away, we’re not home until 4.30pm, whereas in primary we were home just after 3pm. Michael used to be starving at the start — then I realised I was giving him the same lunch as for a shorter day.”

Cross says it’s “really natural” for parents to be anxious about the transition — but they need to keep a lid on these worries when they are around their child.

“It’s important not to transfer worry onto the child. Let them experience the change for themselves. Let them express their own concerns — be supportive about those.”

From a village to city

What children typically worry about can sometimes surprise adults. For Holly McIntyre and some of her classmates, it was the tricky locks on their school lockers. “You have to turn the key a bunch of times and then back the other way. If I’d known how to work the lock beforehand, it would have helped.”

There’s a busyness in post-primary that can be overwhelming for newcomers, Cross points out. “It’s like they’re going from the village to the city. First years feel a lot of excitement mixed with concern: Are they going to make it? They have to get to grips with timetables and remember things that up to now parents have been remembering for them.”

Cross encourages parents to reframe this transition as an opportunity to teach children key life skills, for example: “This is one of the many changes my child will experience in life — if I can help them manage it, I’m giving them a skill for life”.

She recommends:

• Be positive. When talking about secondary school, emphasise how exciting it is — going to this new school with new things to learn and new friends to make;
• Drive/walk by the school — make them familiar with being around it;
• Listen — sometimes children just want to chat things through without being given ‘solutions’;
• Normalise worries. If they’re fearful that they won’t make new friends, remind them many first-years will also be worried about this;
• When they get to secondary, show interest in their new world. Ask “Who do you like best in your class?”, “Why do you like being with them?”, “What subject do you like best?”, “What do you like about it?, “Which teachers do you like and why?”;
• When it comes to homework, a study plan is vital. Figure out with your child what’s going to work for them. Encourage them to make the plan themselves;
• Print out their timetable and stick it on the fridge. Highlight days they need to bring extra stuff to school; PE kit, for example. Ask ‘Do you have this ready for tomorrow?’ But encourage responsibility; after a few weeks, ask “Have you looked at your timetable?”
• Encourage independence — it boosts confidence. Up to now, it has maybe been simpler for working parents to remember for children. Over the summer, get them in the habit of bringing their dirty laundry to the wash basket, so they know an action is required. Ask them to do things you’ve not previously asked them to do, for example going to the shop. “Getting them independent gives them lots of confidence and if they feel confident going into secondary school, it can only help,” says Cross.

How soon children settle depends on the child. “I could say Christmas, but many settle far quicker. It’s different for them all and depends on their level of anxiety,” says Cross, who says parents should contact the school if their child isn’t settled by Easter.

In Moyne CS, all four friends have now found their groove. Bronwyn loves secondary for its bigger pool of potential friends.

“When there are 100 more people in your year than there were in primary, you have lots more people to hang out with.”

And Michael, who’s involved in Gaelic, soccer, and athletics, says: “I’m good with secondary school now. I prefer it to primary — all the sports, getting days off to go to matches — it’s good fun.”

• ‘Big Move 2 Big School’, €2, available by contacting 049 433 5114 or
  pdoherty@moynecs.com
• Visit www.studententerprise.ie