Colman Noctor: We need to wise up to the risks our children are exposed to online

The study found that 93% of this age group owned a smart device, which is probably not that unusual considering it includes all internet-enabled devices, such as tablets and gaming consoles. In relation to gaming console ownership, like an X-Box or PlayStation, 73% of boys reported owning one, compared to 26% of girls. Worryingly, 17% of the children surveyed said they played over-18s games on these consoles, with boys four times more likely to do so than girls.

It seems strange that parents can be far more complacent when it comes to allowing a child to play an over-18s video game than watch an over-18s movie.

The myth is that these games are less harmful because they don’t involve ‘real-life characters’ like in the movies. But, despite these games featuring avatars instead of actors, the characterisations in contemporary gaming graphics are authentic. With the evolution of VR (virtual reality) headsets, the distinction between the real world and virtual reality can be blurred for children.

While the evidence that violent gaming leads to violent behaviour is limited, it is undeniable that the premature introduction of sexualised and violent content can distort a child’s view of those aspects of life, which can have long-lasting effects.

Toothless guidelines

Pester power can play a role in children accessing these games. It is often a result of the first parent in a child’s peer group giving in and allowing the over-18s game, putting pressure on the other parents to do the same.

Parents are all too familiar with relentless arguments such as, ‘Adam is allowed to play it’, and soon, some will wilt and permit the over-18s game. But why should we let the lowest common denominator set the bar for everyone else?

In essence, the weakest link in the parenting chain is setting the standard for everyone else. In an ideal world, parents could form a pact so that no one gives in, but that is not always possible.

What was also concerning about the survey findings was that 84% of the eight- to 12-year-olds reported they had a social media and/or instant messaging account, despite being under the age limit, drawing attention to the fact that age guidelines without any form of age verification are toothless.

YouTube was the most popular social media app, with 74% reporting to have an account, followed closely by TikTok at 47% and Snapchat at 37%. Many parents may not be aware of the range of content on these apps. 

Some parents believe TikTok is just a stream of videos of people doing dance routines when these platforms offer a lot more. TikTok is awash with online influencers peddling their views and opinions, often presenting them as facts. 

A number of teenagers I have met in my therapy room have quoted mental health advice gleaned from TikTok influencers, which has been, at best, poorly evidenced, and, at worst, dangerous.

According to the Cybersafe Kids survey, children as young as eight years old are not only passively consuming content but also posting videos of themselves online, with girls more likely to do so. Some 28% of the children reported having friends or followers they didn’t know offline. Despite the likelihood of most of these connections being harmless, there is the risk that some followers are not who they claim to be and may have sexual motives for connecting with children so young. 

Furthermore, 36% of the children reported engaging with people they don’t know during online gaming, a 16% increase from the previous year. The Covid lockdowns, when online platforms were the only form of socialisation open to children, may be to blame. But this is not an excuse — the fact that 61% of the children said strangers had contacted them in an online game puts them at risk from predators.

One negative experience can have a long-term negative impact on children’s wellbeing. More than a quarter of the children surveyed reported having unpleasant online experiences, suggesting these uncomfortable encounters may be more common than we think. A third of the children said they kept these experiences to themselves rather than report them to their parents or someone else, possibly fearing their online access would be removed.

Lack of supervision

The most alarming findings were on the rules that existed around device usage in children’s homes. While most children reported having some restrictions, 13% said there were ‘no rules’ and 30% said they could go online ‘whenever I want’, a shocking statistic. 

There is no way that any eight- to 12-year-old child should have unfettered access to the online world. 

The risk of accessing grossly inappropriate content and putting themselves in danger of being manipulated is considerable. We would not send a child into a busy city unsupervised or without some direction, yet some parents see it as feasible in a virtual environment. 

We must realise that virtual platforms are interactive. No different to the town square, there is the likelihood of meeting good people and others who are not so well-intentioned. Children aged eight to 12 require considerable help to self-regulate and they need close online supervision.

The results of the Cyberspace Kids survey offer a snapshot of serious risks to children’s welfare. 

While technology companies need to take responsibility for what they permit on their platforms, parents must also act. 

There is growing evidence that media literacy at an early age is as necessary as the safe cross code. We need to wise up to the risks our children are being exposed to online. It is essential that parents become more aware of the type of activity their children are engaging in online. 

While surveillance can be difficult, a periodic conversation where they can go through their child’s contacts and make sure there is no one there that they do not know. Access to the online world is not a right, it is a responsibility. The parental approach should always be: ‘When you show the responsibility, only then do you earn the right.’ 

If you are introducing your pre-teen to online technology, you need to start from a narrow base and increase their independence as they prove their maturity. It is unwise to offer free reign and only intervene when there is a problem.

Children between eight and 12 years may appear mature and savvy, but emotionally and socially, they are not. No child of that age has the skill set to navigate the online world independently, and it is foolish to expect they can. 

Buying your child an internet-enabled device is not unlike getting them a puppy. The purchase is the easy part, but you must be aware that the real work for parents is only starting.

Dr Colman Noctor is a child psychotherapist