Talk To Me: I'm not sure how to reconnect with friends post covid 

Unsurprisingly, this is getting little attention as mental health is the Cinderella of our health service. However, ask any therapist and they will tell you of unprecedented numbers of people from all demographics presenting with increased psychological burden.

While this may be burnout, others will be feeling financial stress. Yet others are struggling to reconnect and build new social connections with the community. Increasing loneliness is a problem. Meaningful connection is critical for our wellbeing and personal growth. However, it is not a ‘one size fits all’ situation and what is meaningful and healthy for one may not be for another.

It’s great that you developed a routine and adapted to working from home during the pandemic. Adjusting to a post-pandemic lifestyle can be challenging. Take time to recognise and accept, without judgement, your feelings of uncertainty and loneliness. When we don’t acknowledge and validate our feelings, we can become stuck in a cycle of unhelpful thinking, seeing ourselves as the problem.

The transition from a routine-based life to a more socially active one can be challenging. Understanding that it’s normal to feel this way as you adjust may help you to be compassionate towards yourself.

Routines can serve us well. They settle our nervous system because we like predictability. Rather than throwing the baby out with the bathwater, I suggest you adapt your routines to suit your current goals.

While you’ve grown accustomed to your own company, strike a balance between solitude and socialising. Schedule time for activities you enjoy alone, as well as for opportunities to interact with others. This will ensure you have a healthy and predictable mix of personal time and social engagement. Building in time to rest in between these social moments will be critical to prevent burnout.

Take care of your wellbeing while navigating this transition. Pause and reflect on which activities bring you joy, reduce stress, and promote relaxation. Prioritise self-care practices such as exercise, mindfulness, or creative outlets. If you have not considered this before, allow yourself time to identify whether high-energy, gentle activity or a mix works best for you. When you take care of yourself, you’ll be in a better position to connect with others.

Once you have integrated self-care into your routine, you can practice gradual exposure by taking small steps outside your comfort zone. Attend social events or gatherings that feel manageable, and gradually increase your social engagement. Remember to be kind to yourself and celebrate your progress.

Family and friend gatherings can be emotionally taxing. Keep an eye out for social events in your area, such as local festivals, art exhibitions, or networking events. These can serve as opportunities to meet new people and expand your social circle.

In addition to offline activities, engage in online communities related to your interests. Online platforms and forums can be avenues for connecting with people who share common hobbies or passions. A number of groups maintain an online presence, while also meeting in person.

Start with one or two activities and expand from there. This will help you build confidence and make the process less daunting. By exploring new hobbies you can meet people with similar interests and this will provide fulfilment and personal growth.

While some friends may have moved on or are busy with their families, it doesn’t mean they don’t value you. Reach out to them, schedule meet-ups, or plan activities together. You may be surprised to discover that they are going through similar challenges and would appreciate your effort to reconnect. Rekindling old friendships can provide a sense of familiarity and support for you both.

Once you have built the supportive scaffolding of a self-care routine and have identified some familiar connections, understand that stepping out of your comfort zone can be challenging and rewarding. Embrace the discomfort and view it as an opportunity for personal growth. Keep an open mind and be willing to try new things, even if they initially feel unfamiliar or uncomfortable.

The human quest to build connections and friendships has long been central to the formal college experience in the US. Long before Covid-19, the Greek letters, alpha, beta, gamma and delta were combined to create the names of fraternities and sororities (such as Delta Gamma) in American colleges. These groups provide ready-made communities for students stepping into college life. The need for such societies reflects the inherent challenge when building social connections.

Be patient with yourself, and don’t hesitate to speak to a registered therapist if you find yourself struggling with the adjustment.

Take care.

• If you have a question for Caroline please send it to feelgood@examiner.ie