Talk To Me: Getting less responsibility at work since I announced my pregnancy

In addition, your employers may have agreed practices that guide the company’s provision for pregnant employees. I would advise contacting your HR department as these provisions may have changed since your first pregnancy.

If you discover that your boss is in breach of her responsibility to you, I would encourage you to pursue the matter through the appropriate channels. This decision can be arduous, so be mindful of your welfare and consider what is the correct course of action for you.

Assuming your boss is complying with all their obligations under the various Acts, your situation may boil down to poor communication. There may be many reasons why your boss reacted coolly, some of which may be personal to her. Hearing of a colleague’s pregnancy can be bittersweet and our immediate reactions might reveal underlying fears, grief or regret.

A pregnant co-worker forces us to recognise that we do not leave our other roles at the door when we come into the workplace. Employees have families, expectations and values that will need to be accommodated. It may be helpful to be curious about how she might have experienced your news. Indeed, she may be embarrassed by her poor response to you. 

Remember, your boss also has her own work-life experiences and hopes. Your news may have a direct impact on her plans or circumstances.

After the initial joy of a first pregnancy, people’s capacity to get excited about subsequent pregnancies can wane, and I wonder whether timing plays a factor in your situation. You note that this pregnancy has come shortly after your return to work. 

Your boss may have been excited about your return. She may have been depending on your presence to help develop future strategies for the company. Those plans may need to be rejigged in the short term. She may have felt a sense of abandonment, especially if the news was unexpected.

I suggest you request a conversation with her so that you can explore together how you might contribute to the company’s plans in the short term. Discussion around more long-term planning will help consolidate your position in the company into the future and may reassure you and your boss. You have a few more months to lay the groundwork for a successful return to the workplace after maternity leave. Take some time to prepare for the handover of your work, using the opportunity to demonstrate how continuity of the business is reflected in your thinking.

Letting your boss know that you are not abandoning her, and reassuring her that this is a temporary situation, will hopefully prompt her to be more congratulatory. Taking time to get on the same page, albeit a new and unexpected one, will likely benefit you and the company. Employees whose bosses respond positively to the news of their pregnancy are more likely to be engaged and committed to their jobs when they return to work. A conversation will give her an opportunity to rectify her response to the news of your pregnancy and is likely to pay dividends.

There is also the matter of your, your baby’s and your toddler’s wellbeing. 

As things are shifting in the workplace, consider how this may serve your needs at home and personally. You may feel a sense of loss in the workplace at the moment, but this may create space for the additional demands at home. This too may be temporary and may be beneficial for you and your family. We can get caught up in a culture of prioritising work even when the costs are obvious.

It is crucial you are not subjected to a hostile work environment due to your pregnancy. 

You should be given opportunities to grow and contribute to the company as before the pregnancy. Others in the company may be watching your situation unfold and considering their futures within the company, so don’t be afraid to pull in your allies. They can offer their perspectives and support too. This networking can help restore your equilibrium at work and aid your pregnancy.

Take care.

If you have a question for Caroline, please send it to feelgood@examiner.ie