One woman's story of abuse as a child
My Christmas wish this year is to help break the silence around sexual abuse in families.
I’m a survivor and my own memories of Christmas are still disturbing. My father would wake me on Christmas morning by putting his hands under my blankets to molest me. Later that day he would rape me. I have loads of memories of playing with different toys I had received while my father would have sex with me or molested me. I would just block him out.
When I was 17, I told my mother about the abuse. My father left for a year and came back, according to my mother, a cured and changed man.
I used to have to sit at the Christmas table remembering what he done to me while the rest of my family enjoyed their meal and gifts.
When I was 26 he sexually assaulted me again. My mother chose to stay with him and I was excluded from the family. It destroyed me that he got to be with the family and I was the outcast. It broke my heart not to be with my sisters. It hurt to see my friends with their families at Christmas while my own family was so messed up.
This is just my story, there are so many more abuse victims out there that will, this Christmas, have to sit across from their abuser because someone is telling them to be quiet or labelling them a liar.
The saddest part this year is that, while most people are celebrating, some innocent children will be going through this hell. Their Christmas memory will be of being molested or raped by someone they trusted and loved; more children will have another part of them die.
I believe that the older generation’s attitude of not talking about abuse and ignoring it ever happened can be changed by the younger generation. I wish that the next generation will help support the victim and not hide what happened. It is wrong to keep a victim silent.
Silence is a killer. It has killed my confidence, my trust, my way of thinking, my judgment. It destroys my soul.
It stopped me getting help. It made me feel like no one cared. My wish is for all that to change and to be strong again.
Through being an abuse survivor, I have met hundreds of other wonderful, strong men and women who were once victims. We all want to say no child should have to suffer and no one who knows has the right to silence them.
My wish is for every child to have the right to be happy and safe and for people not to be ashamed to speak up and just tell someone — because silence slowly destroys.
Women's Aid warn domestic abuse increases after Christmas Day