It's been over two years since I wrote these words in the wake of the horrific murder of Ashling Murphy, and it's as true now as it was then.

Since Ashling was senselessly killed, 21 women in Ireland have been killed by men. Countless others have been raped, attacked, stalked, threatened, and physically, emotionally, and psychologically abused.

These women aren't stats, they are people who have the right to live their lives free from fear, abuse, and violence.

One of those women is Natasha O'Brien, the Limerick woman who was viciously beaten unconscious by still-serving Irish soldier Cathal Crotty. This man was not only remorseless, he bragged about what he did afterwards.

Crotty, entirely unprovoked despite the lie he initially told gardaí, beat Ms O'Brien relentlessly until he was pulled off of her by a male passer-by.

Ms O'Brien told the court that her last conscious thought was: 'He's not stopping, I'm going to die'

Were it not for that passer-by, then 22-year-old Ms O'Brien may have been right. Another name added to the list of femicide victims in this country.

When talking about physical and sexual violence against women, we often talk about the concept of the "perfect victim". This is a myth that a woman must fulfill in order for people to accept you as a "true" victim.

By all accounts, Ms O'Brien should be that "perfect victim". It was unprovoked, she was attempting to stand up for another potentially vulnerable person, there were witnesses, and there was CCTV evidence. There was Crotty's Snapchat boasting about what he had done, and there was his eventual guilty plea. 

She faced her abuser and detailed every way in which the attack impacted her life — along with all of the ways it has forever changed her as a person.

Ms O'Brien still did not get justice

What more does she have to do? Please, tell me. I am all ears. Women are being attacked, abused, and killed right in front of our eyes.

What has to happen before society wakes up and addresses what Justice Minister Helen McEntee has herself called an epidemic?

In the wake of Ms O'Brien's story and the complete lack of justice she received, there has understandably been public outrage and uproar.

It's trending on social media. It's on the talk shows on TV and radio. There are columns, just like this one, being written. And it won't change a thing.

In a few days, the wider public will move on until the inevitable next big story. In the meantime, women and girls all around this country will continue to suffer, to be victimised, to be dehumanised, and to live in fear.

I see so many men hurrying to post about these stories when they make headlines, but where are they every other day?

Because I'll tell you, I rarely see them. What I see is men, at best, ignoring poor behaviour from other men and, at worst, excusing and normalising what these men put women through.

While writing this, I left the office to take a walk and get some air. In the brief time I was out, I was catcalled on two separate occasions. 

One was a number of men who were part of a stag do.

I walked alone in the city centre on a very busy Friday afternoon. They weren't quiet about it. They bellowed their vile comments. 

No one batted an eyelid, and part of what makes me so sad and angry is that I didn't expect them to.

When I'm catcalled, harassed, grabbed, groped, assaulted, I don't expect another man to step in — because I've never really seen it. 

Of course, male family and friends would, but those that perpetrate these acts won't do it if they see there are men with you.

So, I've always stood up for myself and been the one to stand up for my friends without hesitation. I always have and always will.

I have been told my whole life that, one of these days, this behaviour will either get me hurt or killed

I can't say that that's not true, just look at Ms O'Brien, but unless people call these things out when they happen, they'll never stop.

When it comes to violence against women, I don't see active prevention, I don't see real deterrents, I don't see action, and I certainly don't see justice.

I see apathy, willful ignorance, hashtags, empty promises, slow-moving legislation that does not go far enough.

I see excuses, forgiveness, and understanding for violent men, and I see women dismissed and treated like they don't matter.

Now, with my column inches filled and no progress made, all I can do is tell Natasha O'Brien that I am sorry and apologise to every other woman that this country will continue to fail.

Until the inevitable next time, dear readers...

- If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please click here for a list of support services.