Lorna Sixmith: ‘In farming, if you didn’t laugh, you’d cry’

Catherina Cunnane speaks to Laois dairy farmer and author Lorna Sixsmith about her new romantic comedy, County Girl at Heart, which depicts farming life through the eyes of a city girl learning the ropes of rural life.
Lorna Sixmith: ‘In farming, if you didn’t laugh, you’d cry’

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“In farming, if you didn’t laugh, you’d cry,” captures the essence of Lorna Sixsmith’s charming new romantic comedy, Country Girl at Heart.

The Crettyard, Co Laois dairy farmer’s light-hearted romantic comedy is about finding love in unexpected places, rediscovering oneself in the most absurd situations and embracing a life you never expected.

This follows her previous titles, Would You Marry a Farmer?, How to be a Perfect Farm Wife, An Ideal Farm Husband and Till the Cows Come Home.

Described as a blend of “Bridget Jones’ Diary and Oh My God, What a Complete Aisling”, the novel is written in a diary format from the perspective of the main character, Kelly.

The book depicts what farming life is like, as told through the eyes of Kelly, a city girl learning the ropes of rural life.

Having left London with a broken heart and only what will fit in her small car, Kelly makes her grand entrance to her uncle and aunt’s farm in Kilkenny by nose-diving into a snowdrift.

Unexpectedly thrown into the farming deep end, her dream of a peaceful rural escape becomes a comedy of agricultural errors. She never anticipated wrangling a goat with attitude, helping to deliver calves, learning to drive a loader or navigating a love triangle.

City girl learning the ropes of rural life 

Sixsmith told The Farming Examiner: “It took me three years to write the novel Country Girl at Heart, partly because writing fiction was new to me. I found myself going in different directions with it. This was partly because I was so busy on the farm and with teenagers that it was difficult to get sufficient writing time.” 

The story highlights Kelly’s dramatic shift from city to rural life, showing the “colossal” change in culture by moving to her aunt’s and uncle’s farm and having to get ‘stuck in’ with some farming jobs.

She must cope with inquisitive neighbours, escaping livestock, occasional despair with a lack of Wi-Fi and loneliness and feeling like she is living in a goldfish bowl as everyone observes what she is doing.

Her humorous misadventures include her wellies being stuck in mud or her thought processes as she is faced with ten large, escaped cows thundering towards her, and all she has to stop them is a bag containing a newspaper and a loaf of bread.

Lorna Sixsmith with her dog Lou. Picture: Damien Carroll
Lorna Sixsmith with her dog Lou. Picture: Damien Carroll

Sixsmith continued: “This book has been inspired by so many farming women, many of whom came from town/city backgrounds, who married farmers and got stuck in - driving machinery and milking cows or whatever needed to be done. Some also support the farm financially at times with their off-farm job.” 

“I want to show, through writing, that women can do it. We all know they can, but quite often, women’s work is not recognised as fully as it should be. This novel has also been dedicated to farming women.” 

"I really admire city women and men who marry farmers. They do their best to embrace farming life, with many milking cows and feeding calves or herding sheep, and being totally embroiled in the way of life.”

“And others have struggled with the loneliness, dirt, smells, in-laws, etc. And for many, it is a mixture of the two. 

I wanted to present books showing what farming life is like so they can feel less alone and laugh at their own situations. 

Those thrown into the farming life, often through marriage, have to cope with being the centre of attention as everyone wonders what they are doing, not to mention having to contribute to community and charity events, often by baking cakes, she added. And, of course, feeding contractors and ‘stopping a gap’ or becoming an emergency midwife to a calving.

She continued: “You don’t just marry the farmer, you marry the whole family, Hopefully, their spouse can understand that for some, farming life is not 100% instinctive and natural. Non-farmers are often amazed by the realities of farming, including that grass does not just grow, that it costs money to grow grass, be it re-seeding or spreading slurry/fertiliser and that bulls are not always red.”

“Also, that calf-rearing can be so time-consuming; that livestock will hear you making plans to go out and will break out or get sick; that sheep have a death wish. 

“Many spouses find that their questions are met with disbelief, whereas for farmers, these things are common sense.” 

Five novels

Sixsmith has set the first novel in 2017, not long after the end of dairy quotas in the EU. This will be a series of five novels covering 2017-2027. 

“This will be interesting as I do not know what is ahead for dairy farming either,” she added.

“In the background, farmers will cope with various weather events and the ups and downs in farming finances. Many of the characters are exaggerated or modified versions of people we all come across in rural Ireland,” she added.

“Men have read it and enjoyed, but my main target audience is women who are married to farmers and need to laugh at themselves and the situations they often end up in.” 

“A secondary target is those who do not live in the countryside and are intrigued to see what it is like. And yes, sometimes characters are lonely, overworked, or stressed.” 

“Some events are totally from my imagination, but quite a few are modified versions of my own experiences. I can honestly say this is what life is like in the Irish farming world.”

Farming roots 

Even though Sixsmith was brought up on a dairy farm and although she enjoyed farming life, she did not want to farm when she was eighteen.

She was an English teacher, and her husband, Brian, was a scientist when they returned to farming in 2002, taking over from her parents and their dairy farm in Laois.

She started writing books in 2013, her first being Would You Marry a Farmer? inspired by a session of separating calves with Brian. She was told to ‘stop the black one’, and they were all varying degrees of black and white.

She has also published two gift books, abbreviated versions of her first three books, perfect as Secret Santa/stocking filler gifts or gifts for hen or stag parties/weddings.

100 Tips for Farm Wives and Husbands — which is just that, 100 fun but realistic tips for anyone marrying a farmer, complete with some illustrations.

“Unless you want a particular farming job forevermore, don’t learn how to do it” and “hone your telepathy skills. When a farmer says, ‘pass that yoke’, you’re supposed to magically know if they mean a hammer, a rope, or something that isn’t even near you,” Sixsmith added.

100 Facts about Farming Life is designed to make farmers laugh at themselves and educate and entertain non-farmers about farming life.

“Everyone in a farming household has to be quiet when the weather forecast is on TV or radio, including any visitors. Farming means owning a dozen penknives and being unable to find one,” she concluded.

Country Girl at Heart and her other titles are available in some bookshops, on lornasixsmith.com, and on Amazon.

  • 100 Tips for Farm Wives and Husbands - €10
  • 100 Facts about Farming Life - €10 
  • Country Girl at Heart - €16

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