Lighten Up: Farmin' it like Beckham

The house, as you can imagine, is stunning, with views of the water and everything. It's possibly the finest house in the world.

It has a pool the size of 12 sheep dipping tanks.

It even has central heating, too, I'd imagine, and presumably double glazing of the highest order.

As for bathrooms, well the world is your oyster, my dear friend.

In their Miami super home, you will find 13 bathrooms.

With one probably at the end of the garden, too. It's grandeur on a grand scale.

Almost every room in the house has a bathroom attached to it.

If all the loos in their mansion were flushed at the one time, it is said that the flood of water leaving the house would be so great it would equal Mullinhassig Waterfall.

Sure, you already know the Beckhams are wealthy beyond measure - there is no point in me saying otherwise. But where did all this money come from?

Beckham himself hasn't kicked a ball professionally for many years, and, as for his wife Posh, sure, she hasn't sung a good song in God knows how long.

So, where did the money come from to pay for the bricks and mortar?

The Credit Union? ...Unlikely.

If you ask me, the money for the Mami home came from Beckham himself and from all the hard work he has been doing on the farm.

Unbeknownst to many, David Beckham has been quietly farming away on the side for many years.

A bit like myself, he doesn't make a song and dance about it.

He just slips on his boots and leaves the house without too much fanfare.

In a recent video, he can be seen talking proudly about his potatoes and cabbage.

Again, with modesty to the fore, he didn't go into too much detail.

But you could see he was proud, and he was entitled to be. For while the little he grew wouldn't keep a big family going for three weeks, it was still an achievement. Fair play, David.

But you'd have to wonder, what goes on when the cameras stop rolling.

For while potatoes and cabbage might be what himself and Posh dine on, you won't buy a $60m dollar mansion in Miami on the strength of potatoes and cabbage.

Sure, if that was the case, we'd all have a mansion.

I maintain Beckham could well be doing far more work on the farm when the cameras are off.

Who's to say that he's not milking 60 to 100 cows on a daily basis? Or buying in-store lambs and fattening them by the new time.

Could he also be running a very successful calf-to-beef enterprise - purchasing calves at the right price from neighbouring dairy farmers and rearing them on bags of expensive milk replacer and ration.

Could he be buying the house in Miami based on the strength of the profit?

It's possible.

Calf to beef was a terrible ordeal for many, but it could well be the key to Beckham's success.

And better again, hasn't he got three fine, strapping sons to help him out when the going gets tough? An ideal team really to mow and draw in silage.

He cuts his own I dare say, with Posh herself helping out up on the pit on days when other demands aren't too pressing.

The catwalks of Milan could quite easily give way to the weather and the second cut.

The thing about it is that Beckham himself could be a great fountain of knowledge with regards to farming - if only he was more vocal about it.

Beckham's greatest flaw, if you ask me, is his tendency to hide under a bushel.

Anyhow, it was once said that Beckham could kick a ball like no other.

Well, today, I believe he is farming like no other and has a fine house in Miami to prove it.