Mary Crilly has seen many positive changes over the past 40 years but hopes that progress will grow exponentially in the next 40 years.  

Fostering a culture of zero tolerance of sexual violence and abuse is central to that, she said. 

“If you come across someone and she says she was groped on Washington St, that’s tolerated in Ireland, that’s accepted.  

“But in other countries that culture is being challenged. In Norway, I have a daughter living there and her little one started school recently and they had an LGBT day. They didn’t know what it meant but it was about difference. They have days about bullying.  

“In Iceland, they have days when they separate the kids and talk about gender when they’re in primary school. Not in sixth class, but when they’re in babies. So these young lads grow up to think ‘why would you do that?’ I’m not saying it’s perfect but in some of those countries, the men are horrified that the girls are treated differently. So we have to change the culture here.”  

Ireland must also continue work to reverse its culture of victim blaming. Although some progress has been made in this area, it has been incomplete and too slow. 

“People still say ‘what were you doing?’ if you were attacked. I think parents with the best will in the world, will say to their daughters, ‘why did you drink so much?’  

“But they’re young, they’re teenagers, it’s what they do. They should be able to do it and get home safely,” Ms Crilly says. 

“I’m sick and tired of language like ‘she put herself in the way of it’ and ‘she should have known better’. It’s like giving the perpetrators free rein - do what you want and you won’t get blamed. 

“Young guys are still not calling out their peers. That’s not changing.” 

But grown adults are also still shockingly accepting of male sexual violence, she said.  

“One woman told me the other week that her daughter had been raped by this young fella who she said was like her brother, they grew up together. But the mother said ‘you know he’s like a son to me. I don’t think he realised what he did.’ That happens so often.  

“Of course, he realised what he did. If you stab somebody you know.” 

But other changes give her hope.

High Court Judge David Keane recently told a sentencing hearing that character referees for convicted criminals should have to come to court to be cross-examined. 

He made the comments after lawyers for a man convicted of the rape and sexual assault of his son asked the court to receive references from the man’s partner, parents and GP. 

New legislation may be passed to allow the prosecution to cross-examine referees. The Criminal Justice (Amendment) Bill 2022, which would allow this, is currently before the Oireachtas. 

Too many times, Mary has witnessed or read about men who rape women and children being given character references by doctors, people in the GAA, people from their community.  

“This is when 12 honest people on a jury in Ireland have found this person guilty. There’s only a 10% conviction rate so they’ve really thought this through and said ‘this man is guilty.’ And then these people decide to give up a character reference – to say he’s a good father after being found guilty of raping his son?” 

New anti-stalking legislation, which the Sexual Violence Centre has been involved in working on, calling for barring orders and restraining orders to be added to it, is also before the Oireachtas. 

Justice Minister Helen McEntee has secured Government approval for the Criminal Justice (Miscellaneous Provisions) Bill 2022 which is expected to become law in the Autumn.  

It will create standalone offences for stalking and non-fatal strangulation. Courts will be able to issue civil restraining orders against stalkers. The Bill will also increase the maximum sentence for assault causing harm from five years to 10 years, and allow life sentences for conspiracy to murder. 

“We’ve come across a lot of people who have been stalked who had no protection but if they could have taken out a restraining order against them, that would have helped,” Ms Crilly said. 

Helen McEntee’s general efforts to make the justice system more victim-centred gives her hope that things are changing. Amy Barrett also believes Minister McEntee's work is changing things.

Youth activism also gives her hope that the future can be a safer and brighter place. She has seen major changes in culture at student unions. Once overwhelmingly male and macho, last year’s UCC Student Union was populated by many dynamic women and led by Asha Woodhouse, who took initiatives to tackle and highlight gender-based violence.  

But one thing which still requires urgent change is the continuing culture of acceptance around domestic abuse. 

“When a woman is murdered in the street, quite rightly, there is mass anger and protest. But when a woman is murdered in her home there’s less of an outcry,” Ms Crilly says. “This must change.”

Although the centre receives funding from the HSE, Ms Crilly believes the large amount of "paperwork and red tape" required takes up valuable time that should be spent supporting victims. And, because HSE funding is granted on a yearly basis, the centre can't forward plan based on budgets from State grants, something she says has to change.